Her motherhood journey - Part 2

This is the second part of our pregnancy journey. The first part is from my perspective as a father to be, titled aptly My fatherhood journey. This is wholly the work of my wife, who had taken time in between rest and her care duties to our son, to write out her reflections to chronicle this milestone event. After reading for the first time in order to post this, I feel that I need to provide a little background information.

The name of our son is Zef, and his chinese character has a 𦊊 inside. It's pronounced as tian1, same as 天. Now that character is so old schooled that the common dictionary does not have it, and it's quite hard to type it out in chinese. Now imagine we face the same issues when registering for the birth certificate at ICA. First, I was told that they couldn't type it in. The very nice officer hinted to me that perhaps I might want to change it to the more commonplace 天, but I firmly refused. Before our son was born, we actually went to the National library at Bugis, reference section, to check out the character. We took pictures of it, and I thought that would be good enough, but it wasn't. The officer went back and fro to consult her supervisors, and I was told that they need to have a cover of the dictionary, as well as the page with the character, in order for them to input that character into their system to process the birth certificate. And so I have to travel to the library again, photocopy the required dictionary cover (thankfully I still remember which!) and go back to ICA again. The officer accepted it, but made no promises that they can input the character into their system.

A few days later, I received a call from them and got the good news that I want. Sometimes in life, we just need to push through the difficulties. Everything is negotiable, and I'm definitely not going to let a little inconvenience get into the way of what I want.

Here's the letter from a mother to her son:

Newborn babies are always photographed either sleeping or smiling. Why should photographs always be about happy memories? Both the good and bad are good memories to have. And so I'm going to take a photo of him crying 

Dear Zef,

In order to know who we are, and who we might be, it is essential to know how we came about into this world. Everyone has an ‘origin myth’, a tale of trials, tribulations and transformation. Before the myth gets muddled by the passing of time, I am going to tell you the legend of Zef, how you came into existence, and what meanings you might infer from it in the future.


You had been a great blessing right from the start. Your father and I had planned for a baby at the beginning of 2016, and we went for a health check to ascertain that we are both healthy and are able to start a family. The interesting thing is, during the health check, the doctor who was examining me advised me to have a child soon due to my age, and said that she’s seen many women who faced difficulties in conceiving. Her words affirmed my conviction, and your father and I began to try for a child. I was fully aware of that natural conception isn’t easy, and was entertaining all sorts of possibilities – ranging from IVF to adoption – if our attempt at natural conception was unsuccessful. However, much to our relief and pleasant surprise, you came along and responded to the ‘vacancy’ and was conceived ‘spontaneously’ without any medical interventions.


Since then, I’ve established a firm belief in the ‘natural’ ways, and when I was expecting, your father and I decided to have a ‘natural’ childbirth – a childbirth that involves minimum medical interventions. However, I soon discovered that the ‘natural’ childbirth that I had envisioned was deemed ‘unnatural’, even radical, in our modern society. In fact, childbirth had been ‘medicalised’, and the ‘medicalisation of childbirth’ was apparent in many aspects – from the ‘experts’ we can consult with, to the processes involved. For instance, I had to go to an obstetrician (OB) instead of a midwife, and that medical interventions pervaded all aspects of the delivery. Also, the delivery ward differs drastically from what is intended in nature. Animals seek out a closed, cosy and dark place to birth their young in seclusion. If you ever step into a delivery ward, you’ll notice that it is not the cosy and comfortable place intended by Nature. Instead, it is a clean, cold, and clinical venue that is marked by constant interference from the medical professionals. At one point in time, the nurse that was attending to me was walking in and out of the room nonchalantly during my contractions to get supplies, and I had to remind her to respect my privacy and knock before coming in. Thus from the very start, it was a battle to have the kind of ‘natural’ childbirth that we envisioned, which consists of the following 6 tenets:


1) Let Labor Begin On Its Own
2) Walk, Move, and Change Positions
3) Have Continuous Support
4) Avoid Unnecessary Interventions
5) Get Upright and Follow Urges to Push
6) Keep Your Baby With You After Birth


The first tenet of ‘natural’ childbirth is to ‘let labour begin on its own’. However, our plan for that was nearly thwarted because you were considered ‘overdue’ by the OB based on the estimated delivery date (EDD) of 24/01/2017, and he suggested that we induced the labour on the 31/01/2017 at 8am. I was rather distressed by the decision, and had even planned to resist it by skipping the appointment. Your father was very supportive of the rebellion, and pointed out that the given EDD is arbitrary, as the original was on the 27/01/2017, but had been revised to 24/01/2017. He even joked that if you don’t arrive on time, you’ll be ‘evicted’ on the 31/01/2017. Thankfully, you did not let us down, and decided to beat the doctor’s timing and announce your impending arrival by breaking the water bag at 6 am on the 31/01/2017. So you have decided that you’ll rather move on your own, than be induced by the OB.


The second tenet is to ‘walk, move, and change positions’. However, once we check into the delivery suite, mobility and movement is heavily restricted. For instance, once we are in the suite, we are not allowed to leave until you are born. So when we went in at 7 am, we were confined to that small space till you came out at 11 pm. Also, the focus of the room is the delivery bed, and is the central piece of equipment for the delivery. The labouring mother is expected to lie in the bed throughout the labour process and her movements are further restrained by the use of foetal and contractions monitoring pads. I had requested that I be allowed to move freely during the labour process and wanted the wireless monitoring pads so that I don’t have to be bed bound. After some difficulties I was finally given the wireless version. I also asked for a birthing ball to help me ease the pain in my birth plan. To my horror, they couldn’t find the copy of my birth plan, and said that they don’t provide the birthing ball due to hygiene. I was flabbergasted, as I’ve been practicing pain relieving techniques on a birthing ball during my entire pregnancy, and now when it’s time to tap on my practice, the key prop is missing! Eventually, I had use the doctor’s stool as a substitute for the birthing ball, and spent most of my time walking around the room, standing up and leaning over the bed and cabinet tops, and rolling from side to side on the stool. I was hardly on the bed throughout the whole process.


The third tenet is to ‘have continuous support’, and in fact this is one of the most crucial point. The irony is that the ‘expert’ I’ve engaged for the delivery was hardly there. The OB only appeared twice during the entire labour: when I first arrived to do a vaginal examination to determine my dilation, and when you are ‘crowning’. In between, I only have the constant support of your father, who was so committed that he even refused to leave my side and go for lunch. He was there all the time, feeding me snippets of snacks (nuts, bread and cream crackers) that we smuggled in and giving me sips of water in between the contractions. It is only when his hunger threatens to overwhelm him that he left for a short while to grab a sandwich and Milo at 4pm from the vending machine outside. Other than that, I have the intermittent support of the nurses that were on shift. I had three nurses due to the duration of the labour, and the last one was extremely supportive. I can still recall her confidence in me – “You can make it”.


The fourth tenet is to ‘avoid unnecessary interventions’, and this is one of the tenets which is the hardest to abide by. The medical interventions are pervasive – and they range from something as innocuous as placing the IV port on my left hand to facilitate the intravenous injection of medication when necessary to the use of ‘oxytocin’ to ‘augment’ the labour by making the contractions faster and harder and even the use of epidural to numb the pain of contractions. I refused to succumb to the use of epidural because I am wary of the impact that it has on you – the greater stress that you have to go through when the contractions becomes artificially stronger and longer. Both of us share the same sensations of the contracting uterus, albeit from different sides – you on the inside, and I on the outside. Although I can escape the pain by opting for epidural, I am determined to stand by you and go through the same discomfort that you have to experience. I will not escape the pain and leave you to face it alone. However, a medical officer came in during the later stage of my labour and attempted to persuade to opt for the epidural by dangling a deadline – the epidural can only be prescribed before the dilation has proceeded too far. Once the dilation reaches 9 cm, I’ll not be able to ask for the epidural. At that point in time when the offer was made, I was already delirious and weakened from the pain of contractions. It was your father, who affirmed my wishes, and declined the use of the epidural on my behalf.


The fifth tenet which is to ‘get upright and follow urges to push’ is also another challenge I’ve to face in the labour process. For instance, in order to have a more reliable reading of the foetal heart rate, I eventually had to swap the wireless monitoring pads for the wired ones, and this curtailed my movements and confined me to the bed. Also, the medical staff advised me against pushing, and wanted me to control the urge till I am fully dilated. However, the waves of contractions become increasing excruciating, and eventually I gave in to my instincts and followed my body’s cue to push. At one point in time, I even have to call the attending doctor to come in before the appointed time to examine me and to ascertain the dilation. However, the doctor was away for an emergency C Section, and it was the nurse who had to do the vaginal examination for me.


The last tenet was the only one which was fulfilled. When you were born, you were placed on my chest for a while before you were whisked away for a battery of tests like the Apgar score and cleaned up. The nurse also started to assist me to breastfeed you, and since then, I’ve been breastfeeding you all the while without the use of any formula milk.


So this is how you came into the world. So what meanings can you infer from such an arduous journey? The first important lesson is this: although there were trials and tribulations, we can overcome any adversities once we were certain of our convictions and made our stand. Once we were convinced that the ‘natural’ childbirth was what we wanted for you, we managed to persist and achieve our aim. Secondly, there will always be at least two people in the world, who loved you more than anything else, and is willing to go through thick and thin with you. When you were still in my belly, your father would often whisper this mantra to you:

“𦊊𦊊, 你还没出世, 但世上已有两个很喜欢你的人喔: 你的爸爸和妈妈!”

When I was in labour, I was determined to go through the pain so that we can go through the furnace together and forge a strong bond. I am honoured to have shared this wonderful journey with worthy companions like your father and you. Lastly, remember that you are a great blessing, and you are a strong boy who can stand by your mother stoically and endure an 18 hour long labour and did not cave in to the countless contractions. There may be pain, but there need not be fear, and I’m happy that you have proven yourself to be pro-bravery.  You rose up to the test and managed to take the stresses and did not develop any signs of foetal distress like meconium in the amniotic fluid or a decrease in the heart rate, for if you do show such signs, then the only viable option would be an emergency C Section. Thank you for standing up to the struggles with me, and if you fight alongside with me, I will fight for you.


So the legend goes:

“Men become warriors through death and destruction; 
Women become warriors through birth and creation.” 

Well met, S/O (mother’s name). Welcome to the world, Zef.


Part 3: Comprehensive financial cost from pregnancy to birth 

Read More

My fatherhood journey - Part 1

2017 is such a significant year for me. There are different stages in one’s life and this year is going to be one of the biggest milestone in my life because I’m a father now! My baby was born on the 31st of Jan 2017, same as B's baby. I thought it’ll be interesting to hear about the birth of the baby from the father’s perspective, so I’ll share it here. I will talk about the financial cost of the whole journey, but I don’t want it to be the first thing to come to mind when discussing about having a child. Hence, I’m going to share the entire journey right from the start.

Our little 'buddha' baby - babies truly live in the present. They don't live in the past nor the future. If uncomfortable, they cry. If hungry, they eat. If sleepy, they sleep. Once satisfied, they stop crying. There's a lot to learn from them.

Pre-pregnancy and Maternity check-up

I think we’re quite blessed in the sense that everything comes very smoothly for the pregnancy. I think earlier in 2016, both of us went for a major health check-up to ensure that all of us are healthy. After that, it took maybe 3 to 4 months before it happened. My wife’s breast started feeling very tender and sensitive (that’s usually the first signs) so we bought some pregnancy test kits to check it out. How I came to know of her pregnancy is more interesting. One day, I think I was doing some work when my wife popped in and showed me the results of the pregnancy test kit. I was actually quite stunned by it because I don’t know what it means. We scrambled to read the instruction manual and that’s when we knew we’re going to be parents soon.

Throughout the whole pregnancy, my wife don’t have the usual pregnancy symptoms like back aches or morning sickness, so it’s a relatively enjoyable journey for her. As her belly gets bigger, more and more stranger started to rub her belly. If we could charge a penny for the rubbing, we could probably be financially free by now. I did my fair share of feeling the baby’s movement by touching the belly at different points, feeling all the flutters, the rolls, the twist and the turns, the murmurs, the wave, the pops and the kicks. I love talking to the belly, reminding my son inside that there are two people in the world who will always love him, and telling him we’ll meet him soon and please not to cause so much pain to his mother.

But there’s a ton of things to worry about, like choosing between a private and public hospital, which gynecologist, what kind of birth and so on. So we dive in and did our literature research about the various options and realised what deep shit we got ourselves into! Lol!

We went around ‘shopping’ for hospitals by visiting the various maternity wards of public and private hospitals. Our initial decision of going to private hospitals eventually changed to public hospitals, after hearing horror stories of babies being premature and have to be warded In neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) and having to pay a few thousands per night. It can amount to a fifth of a million dollars if something bad happens. This becomes the beginning of what I call a fear based pregnancy journey. It seems that everything is based on fear.

Ultimately we settled for NUH under a senior consultant (Prof Biswas, if you want to know his name), thinking that the cost can be kept affordable should there be a need to go NICU, by downgrading to a lower class ward. It’s quite far from our home and it takes about an hour ride in general, but we treated the check-ups like going on a date. We knew each other in NUS way back when we’re still studying (I’m in Engineering and she’s in Arts). We like Indian food so we always go back to the Engineering faculty’s canteen for their cheap and delicious Indian food. In fact, that’s the part that we most like about the whole check-up routine, plus the fact that we have weird stares from students as my wife’s pregnancy started to become more obvious. I think both of us look like students except for her ballooning belly. Since there’s a discount for staff, the stall owner selling drinks had been giving some slight discount for my wife whenever she bought drinks. A student can’t be pregnant right? Haha!

But the whole check-up is just waiting and waiting and more waiting. It’s a little like army – you rush to wait and then you wait to be rushed. The consultation takes maybe 10 minutes tops, while the waiting can be up to 2 hours if you’re unlucky. Since both of us are self-employed, I often wondered how people manage to take so many leave from work to attend all these check-ups. Due to the nature of my job, it’s good to be able to accompany my wife on such check-up dates, so we re-framed the whole waiting game altogether – instead of wasting time waiting for our turns, we are spending our time together.

During the visits to the gynecologist, there’s usually an ultrasound scan too to see the baby’s development. Here, we can take black and white ‘pictures’ of our son at different stages of the pregnancy and also hear his heartbeat. The first time I heard his heart beat, it was such a magical experience. That little ‘alien’ is actually alive and is living inside my wife! But it always sounded the same, and I wondered aloud to my wife if there’s a stock video and stock heart beat soundtrack that they play to all mothers every time. Hmm… that conspiracy theory remains to be tested.

Test for genetic defects

I’m not young anymore, and so is my wife. Though there are a lot of celebrities’ couple having birth in their 40s and 50s, I knew that the chances of genetic defects are higher due to poor egg and sperm quality. That’s why I was quite worried about all the major developmental test during the maternity check-up. I think I told my wife back then that we have to remember this moment in our lives, especially when our son failed his exams or committed some mistakes. Why? Because once upon a time, we were contented and overjoyed with him just by being healthy and fine.

Contentment is a relative thing.

Parenting is a journey full of worries. I think it’s good to experience this. I guess on a broader level, our parents must have felt the same way towards us too. Being a parent makes me more appreciative of all parents, particularly my own.

Tiny little fingers. You never know great joy until you had held a soft living thing who trusted you so much that he fell asleep in your arms.

Birth plan

We started watching a lot of you-tube on the birthing process. Most of it was found by my wife as she prepares for the birth mentally. We learnt of the continuum concept (there’s a book on that) which strikes a resonating chord in both of us. It’s amazing how a little research can do wonders in preparing ourselves for the actual event. It was also the first time I read books about pregnancy and how a husband can support a wife during the actual birthing. Tons of material are out there, and we both decided to skip the antenatal classes because we think it’s a rip off after looking through the slides shared by Frugal Daddy.

We had a birth plan, jotting all the points that we want and do not want. We presented it to the gynecologist during one of the consultations and he signed on it. It was supposed to be scanned and sent to the records, but apparently on the day it wasn’t found. Thankfully, the birth plan was easy summarised by one principle - LESS MEDICAL INTERVENTION. All the rest of the points are just the details.

For me, it’s good because I know what my wife wants after our discussions, and I’m willing to guide her and give the necessary instructions to everyone in the fog of birth.

Labour

I was drooling in my sleep when my wife woke me up at 6am on 31st of Jan. It was the 4th day of the Chinese New Year and just the night before, we went to my in-law’s place for a good dinner. We could not have known that in another few hours, we will be having my epic journey to meet our son.

“I think my water just broke.” my wife said calmly.

I was rubbing the sleepiness off me while trying to process what the strings of sound means. My wife showed me the extent of the ‘damage’ while I took some kitchen towels to clean up a little. She told me she that she had been feeling really terrible throughout the night with the contractions, but she didn’t tell me about it. She had also been walking around to ease off the pain while I slept through all that like a baby. Oops :)

She called the hotline given by the hospital and was advised by them to head to the hospital once we’re ready. I told her to take a shower and go wash her hair while I packed our bug out bag to get ready to the hospital. Our bags had been lying on the table for nearly a week, while we waited anxiously for the expected due date to arrive on 28th of Jan. But it was a non-event, literally a no show. You cannot begin to imagine how anxious it was waiting for her labour to start. But I guess our baby will arrive not early nor late but exactly as he wishes to.

Thankfully the traffic was fine, and we reached the hospital in about 30 mins, because we hit the roads before the morning peak hour traffic began. My wife was squirming every now and then, but it’s still bearable enough for her to walk and act normally. I think most people have the idea that once contraction hits, we have to call the ambulance and be rushed straight to hospital immediately, but the truth is far from it. It’s a long drawn out process and technically we can eat a good hearty breakfast before going in to the hospital.

For those not in the know, the magic number is 10. What’s that? Once the cervix dilation reaches 10 cm, the gynecologist can come to deliver. Before that, you just have to endure the labour and contractions until it reaches 10 cm. When my wife came in at 730am, it was 3 cm. We’re admitted to the delivery suite at about 845 am. At 1130 am, it was 5 cm. Time flies for me while I’m there, but I’m sure my wife will experience time dilation because she was living moment to moment in between the regular contractions. I was massaging my wife’s back all the time, providing sips of water to her and giving all the support that I can give while she’s on her toughest journey of her life. That’s the least I can do.

At 330pm, the dilation was still at 3cm and we have to make a decision to inject oxytocin, a drug that augments the labour by making the contraction stronger. So far the pain was bearable but the labour process was still slow. There’s a timeline to rush because the water bag had burst and the baby might get into trouble after a long period (about 18 hours). We’re afraid that the use of such drugs will make the labour much more painful. This has the potential effect of creating a cascade of medical intervention. Oxytocin leads to more pain, leading to the use of epidural that will dull the pain and make it harder to time when pushing, which will then lead to foetal distress because of the prolonged and high intensity contraction and ultimately leading to c-section. That is an end scenario we do not want.

In the end, we opted for oxytocin, and within 30 mins, the pain level went up drastically. There are many medical professionals coming in asking if my wife wanted epidural or laughing gas, but I think she can take it and firmly rejected their offer. At the same time, I had to constantly caress and comfort my wife as the contractions get more intense, longer and more frequent. After about 1030pm, the pain level really shot up a lot and my wife experienced the final thrall of the labour process. It really pains my heart to see my wife in agony and pain. While we might not be able to avoid pain, we can certainly avoid suffering. Suffering comes when there is no meaning to the pain we’re taking, so I constantly encouraged her, held her hands tightly while she goes through her waves of labour, and reminded her that each pain will bring us closer to seeing our son. Once the meaning is understood, there is great capacity for us to withstand pain with meaning and without suffering.

The nurse checked that it’s about 9 cm dilation now and called the doctor, who came in around 11pm. And in about 30 mins, our son was out hearing his first cry to the world! It was such a surreal experience, and I’m very relieved to hear that my wife and son are fine.

Ending note

That ends the first part of our pregnancy journey. I hope that reading this will give strength and courage to would be fathers. In the next post, I’ll let my wife share her experiences, before the last post about the financial cost of all this leading to the birth. Hopefully this would put the financial cost in the right perspective.

Read More

Marginal utility of Time vs Money

I'm always fascinated by my earlier 'miserly' behaviour, like how I used rusty shavers to save some money or how I worked like crazy to save my first 50k until I get so burnt out. I framed it as a growth mindset, where I grew bigger than my problems, hence it's not that my problems became smaller and therefore manageable, but rather I grew bigger, so the problems no longer affect me that much.

This three articles I blogged about has the same underlying theme:

1. Frugality isn't just about saving money
2. Being frugal with your time
3. Of Dragons and Men

Recently, while reading Tools of Titans by Tim Ferriss (I could not recommend that book enough), I came across another interesting framework to use. It's the idea of the marginal utility of an extra minute vs an extra dollar.

The idea is simple: Imagine you want to go to another place, and you can go by either taking a cab or walking there. Taking a cab is definitely faster but more expensive, so you spend money to save time. On the other hand, walking is slower but cheaper, so it allows you to spend time to save money. By comparing the marginal utility of time vs dollar, you can make a rational decision. If the utility of one extra dollar is more than the utility of one extra minute, save the dollar and spend the time i.e. walk there. If the utility of one extra minute is more than the utility of one extra dollar, save the time and spend the dollar i.e take a cab there.

Here's a few more illustrations:

1. In the past I used to go all the way to Pennisular Plaza to get sports shoes. The reason is that because there are a lot of similar shops there, so the greater competition combined with the great variety makes it a cheaper place to shop. However, the savings is probably not much, perhaps only 10-20% only. So to save that few dollars, I would spend the time to go over there, because I have more time than money, so the utility of that extra dollar is more important to me than the utility of that extra minute, hence I spend my time to save the dollar.

2. Until about 5 years ago, I used to go to my student's place for lessons. These days, I would charge a lesser amount if students come over to my place for lessons instead, because I don't have to spend the extra time travelling. Even though I can earn more if I go over, I normally don't do that anymore. The reason is that the utility of an extra minute is now much more than the utility of an extra dollar, hence I would rather spend money to save time by letting students come over to my place instead of the other way.


But please do not treat this as a mathematical model. At best, it's a philosophical concept. If you want, you can valuate your hourly rate, but I think it will be hard to valuate your time. So agar agar (estimate) will do and there's no need for complex computation to derive whether your marginal utility of time is more or less than that of your money.

Why?

Because the marginal utility of your time is more valuable than the marginal utility of doing the computation LOL

Read More

Circular for Bullythebear shareholders

CIRCULAR TO SHAREHOLDERS (“CIRCULAR”)

in relation to

THE PROPOSED CONTINUATION AND FUNDING OF PREMIUM CBOX (Thereafter, “THE PROPOSAL” )
-------------------------------------------------

DEFINITIONS

For the purpose of this Circular, the following definitions apply throughout unless the context otherwise requires or unless otherwise stated.

“BullyTheBear” : The award winning website that talks about personal finance and finance related information

“cbox” : The tiny little community space right at the bottom of and below the blog posts of BullyTheBear, where shareholders can type in messages and discuss the mundane and important issues of the day

“Chairman” : Chairman of BullyTheBear website, known popularly as La Papillion, or LP

“Exchange rate” : Exchange rate of 1 USD to 1.46 SGD, taken conservatively.

“Premium” : The paid, upgraded version of the free cbox, which is the current version.

----------------------------------------------

To: The shareholders of BullyTheBear

Dear Sir/Madam

THE PROPOSED CONTINUATION AND FUNDING OF PREMIUM CBOX (“THE PROPOSAL”)


1. INTRODUCTION

1.1 The Proposal

The Chairman of BullyTheBear would like the shareholders to consider this proposal of the continuation and funding of the premium cbox. The cbox had been an integral and important part of the culture of BullyTheBear. Despite several major facelifting and structural changes that had occurred and will occur in the future, the cbox is one feature that will be set in stone. In fact, BullyTheBear will not be where it is today if not for the bond building and sharing that took place among shareholders, many of whom are regular users of the cbox.

However, the premium version of the cbox is going to end in 8th Feb 2017, hence the proposal to shareholders to decide on the continuation and funding of the premium cbox.


1.2 Purpose of this Circular

The purpose of this Circular is to provide shareholders with relevant information relating to The Proposal, and to seek shareholder’s approval and feedback for this exercise. Shareholders are requested to give honest feedback, but it is to be noted that the decision of The Proposal lies solely on the Chairman. That being said, the voices of the shareholders will taken into consideration on the final deliberation of the decision of The Proposal.


2. DETAILS OF THE PROPOSAL

2.1 Listed below are the features that shareholders are used to in the premium cbox:

(a) Higher capacity – the premium cbox can store up to 600 messages (as opposed to only 100 messages for basic cbox) with up to 1000 characters long each. Each and every post are also archived.

(b) Users can delete their own last messages in the event of typos. The administrator can also delete messages and ban users with a single click.

(c) Ad-free

(d) Dynamic auto-refresh – The rate of autorefresh is dynamically adjusted to the rate at which new messages are being posted.

(e) Sound notification in the event of new messages. This complements the auto-refresh.

(f) A ‘who’s online’ display lists who is viewing and who is chatting

(g) Advanced style editing

(h) Custom word filter

(i) Allows users to password protect their names to prevent impersonation


2.2 Cost of the Premium cbox

Cost of The Proposal depends on the period of time for which the premium cbox is purchased. Generally, the longer the period, the cheaper the cost. Here are the costs for different periods:

Period(months)----------Cost(USD)------------Cost per month (USD)
------3------------------------$6.00-----------------------$2.00
------6------------------------$11.00----------------------$1.83
------12----------------------$20.00----------------------$1.67

Shareholders can verify the cost in the cbox website here.


3. EVALUATION OF THE PROPOSAL

In evaluating The Proposal, the management of BullyTheBear had taken into account the pertinent factors set out below which will be considered as they are deemed to have significant bearing on the assessment.

(a) Rationale of The Proposal

(b) Financial effects of The Proposal

(c) Possible effects of The Proposal


3.1 Rationale of The Proposal

As a responsible company, BullyTheBear believes in involving shareholders in its major decisions. While sole responsibility and decision eventually rests on the management, the Chairman still believes in seeking honest and prompt feedback. Below are the key reasons for The Proposal:

(a) As mentioned in the Circular, BullyTheBear is a shareholder friendly company. There is almost no advertising in bullythebear now, unlike the past. The ads revenue had been dropping steadily as the readership of Bullythebear dwindles. Hence, the need to ask shareholders for funding. It is not that The Chairman cannot pay for the cbox, but as a community, it is important that everyone contributes so that there is a sense of belonging and communal sharing. The Chairman would like to take this opportunity to once again thank all the regulars and not-so-regulars who frequent the cbox daily like the neighborhood’s kopitiam.

(b) It is the wish of the Chairman to give back to society what it had been given to him. Through the tiny space occupied by the current cbox, a lot of important discussions had been debated and ideas thrown around shareholders. By The Proposal, it is hoped that such active discussion will continue to be an active feature of BullyTheBear. It would be a travesty to go back to the ancient days where there are ads, and no auto refresh of messages again.

(c) Though this is not a serious and prevalent problems yet, The Proposal will prevent impersonation of regular users of cbox as the premium version allows the user to password protect their nickname. This protects both the integrity and credibility of users – two of the important tenet that is held closely by BullyTheBear’s management.


3.2 Financial effects of The Proposal

The cost of The Proposal should be borne by everyone. To get the best value for money, the 12 months plan with the cost of 20 USD should be selected. Based on the rate of 1.46, the cost in SGD is $29.20 for 1 year. Donations by shareholders are most welcomed. Everything is strictly accounted for.

Should there be excess donations above SGD $29.20, shareholders do not have to worry about the issue of fattening the Chairman's bank account, because there will be proper accounting and the excess money will be rolled over to fund the next continuation of the premium cbox.

Should the be insufficient donations to cover the SGD $29.20, and as long as there is one single donor of any amount for The Proposal, The Chairman will undertake to pay for the remaining amount. As long as there is a supporter, the premium cbox feature will stay.

For illustrative purpose:

i) Donations amounted to SGD $50, which is above the required SGD $29.20.

SGD $29.20 will be paid to cbox website for the premium cbox, while the remaining SGD $20.8 will be rolled over to fund the next year's worth of fees. There is a historical data for this. Back in 2013, due to overwhelming response for the call of funds, the amount of donations is 4 times the required amount. Hence The Proposal in 2017 now.

ii) Donations amounted to SGD $5, which is below the required SGD $29.20

The Chairman will top up SGD $24.20 to pay for 12 months of premium cbox. The principle is that as long as there is one supporter, the premium cbox will remain.


3.3 Possible effects of The Proposal

Donations might deprive shareholders of buying an extra container of pineapple tarts for themselves, and thereafter end up slimmer for the new year. Donate for a good cause and end up with a good figure.


4. CONCLUSIONS

The Chairman would like shareholders to give honest and prompt feedback on The Proposal. Shareholders can do so by clicking the comments button at the end of this Circular and they can be sure that the Chairman will address their concerns and feedback within 1 working day. The Chairman would like to recommend:

(a) a period of 12 months of premium cbox, with an expense of USD 20.00 or SGD 29.20 based on the Exchange rate

(b) donations is to be transferred to The Chairman's posb savings account 543-60484-4.

(c) Absolute deadline is on 5th Feb 2017 to allow some time for the administration of The Proposal.

-------------------------------------------
Updates: 29th Jan 2017

Here's a list of donors:
1. D - $50
2. S - $10
3. J - $10
4. O - $8
5. C - $10
6. J - willing to share half of cost with me if there's no donors

Really, thanks from the bottom of my heart!

As of 29th Jan 2017, I also managed to secure a better deal for cbox! The usual is 12 months for 20 USD ($1.67 USD/mth), but I managed to negotiate for a longer term at a cheaper rate that is not published. It's going for $40 USD for 27 months ($1.48 USD/mth). I'm going for that for the best value.

Read More

Gong xi gong xi

Some companies are wishing themselves happy chinese new year with their retrenchment exercises near the festive season. One of the more notable examples is given below:

Besides that, HSBC also recently closed some branches and cut some jobs (here). I guess we all have to strive for financial freedom one day, because there'll come a time where even if you want to work, you might not be able to, either because the economy had changed drastically or you are unfit because of health reasons.

Have career aspiration or not is up to you, but one must definitely have financial aspirations!

Read More

Is it a dream or a goal?

I was reading Tim Ferriss tome "Tools of Titans " and finding little nuggets of information here and there. It was such a great education reading about psychedelics, strength training and ketosis - things that I don't read about in general. This one by the famed wrestler Triple H stood out: Is it a dream or a goal?

A dream is something you fantasize about that will probably not happen. You can dream of being a world class DOTA player or get all As for your exams, but without action, it's just something in the potential near future that might not materialize. A goal is something you set a plan for, so that you can work towards and achieve. In other words, while a goal begins from a dream, the difference that sets them apart is that a dream has no follow up action. In our local parlance, it's just talk cock sing song.

But how does one convert dreams into goals? I think it's important to realise and understand what the cost of that achievement entails. If you want to get As for exam, you have to inch towards your goal. I've a lot of students coming in and telling me they wanted to get A for the subject but their work and attitude is not an A. If you want A, you have to put in A-class work and attitude and that always entails sacrifices. It might mean cutting short on gaming time, or television time or even sleep time, but something has to give in order to generate the extra hours so that you can input it to master your craft. If you want to be a good investor, you can't just play around. You cut short your you-tube time, focus and immerse yourself in that environment. In other words, no great thing can come without jumping deep into the rabbit hole and take whatever suffering you get on the way down.

It's a great question to ask myself if I'm involved or just merely participating.

Read More

Bullythebear's reflection post of the decade

The first post of Bullythebear is dated at 4th Dec 2006. Today is 8th Jan 2017, which means that 10 years 1 month and 4 days had passed since my very first posting here. I thought it's a good time to think and reflect about the long journey of me writing this blog and all the readers reading it.So here's the blog post that summarises my journey in Bullythebear so far.

Statistics

1. I made a total of 1,203 (excluding this) over the entire lifespan of the blog. That's about 10 post per month on average. I progressively posted less and less articles over the years. The most active years is back in 2008 with a total of 348 posts, which averaged about 30 posts per month, or 1 every day!

2. Here are the all time most viewed posts:

a. Aspial 5.25% bond - good buy or goodbye? - 19,408 pageviews
b. Hyflux 6% perpetual securities - 18,167 pageviews
c. Aspial 5.30% bond (AGAIN) - good buy or goodbye? - 14,451 pageviews
d. Perennial Real Estate 4.65% bond - good buy or goodbye? - 13,085 pageviews
e. Oxley 5% bond - good buy or goodbye? - 9,599 pageviews

It seems like my most viewed posts are all fixed income securities! I'm the James 'Bond' of the blogosphere? lol

3. Most of the search keywords to get to my blog is through the following:

Bullythebear must be quite a trademark for my blog :)

Reflections 

1,203 posts over 10 years involves a lot of my life energy. If each post needs 1 hr (bloggers should know it takes longer than this in general), I've spent 1,203 hours already. I think it's not weird to say that this blog is part of my growing up, maturing and evolving process. Each year is like the chapters of a book, with an appropriate title to reflect the underlying theme of that year. Let's have a look:

2006: The birth of the warrant price

This is where it all begins. Unfortunately it wasn't a good start to begin my investment journey. I started on warrant trading. "Trading" is too good a word to use here, since I don't know any technical skills by then. It's just rumor mongering, hoping and mostly just whacking. Almost all the posts here are about my warrant trading. It's not a good start, but it's still my past. I like to think that it continues to guide me in my decisions and choices now. There's a few interesting ones, like the first announcement of the Integrated resort (IR) here. Some of the younger folks had been born with the IR already built! I still remembered the intense debate over this thorny issues, and how it's going to impact the financial market, especially with regards to Genting stock price.

2007: Death of the prince heralding the dark ages

As I read more about warrants, and realized I know next to nothing, I eventually stopped doing it. Luckily it didn't wipe off my accounts (in fact, I made a small profit). On hindsight, that should be a sign that I should be stop punting, because if a newbie like me who knows no TA can make money by trading warrants, who the hell is going to buy up the market next? STI went up to 3665 as I blogged about it here, and I think after 10 years or so, STI still haven't reached that maniac level yet. I participated in my first rights issue this year (Pac Andes) and bought quite a lot of construction stocks because it's fashionable to do so. Lian Beng, Yongnam, CSC etc, I have it all. This year is also the year I cut losses on Longcheer after averaging again and again. I went into depression for a month. Work brought me out of the dark gloomy days. On hindsight again, it was one of the best periods of my life. It realigned my values and priorities so that I can have a much better attitude in life now. Everyone should have controlled depression once in their life.

2008: China milk soured, Ferrochina rusted and Hongguo hong kan-ed.

I started dabbling into value investing, at least my version of it. I spent the next few years reading intensely about accounting and all the various classics of investing. I thought I know a lot and I invested in s-shares like china milk and hongguo (I have a lot of post on the fundamentals of it, eventually it was taken private at a slight loss to me). Ferrochina killed a lot of people too but thankfully I wasn't in it. I sold a lot of my construction stocks when I realised there are cyclical in nature. I think this year and the last I trimmed a lot of nonsense in my portfolio. I was so into investing that I compared my discipline of engineering with the concept of margin of safety in this luminous post here. Looking back now, I feel like a headless chicken going everywhere the crowd is going. If investing is the right way to go, I'll go there too.

2009: Self discovery

I realised that investing is not for me. I could never have the depth of understanding with regards to accounting and investing as others, nor do I have the interest. Instead of following what others are telling me is the right thing to do, I discovered what my strengths are and what my weakness are. I started leaning less on investing and more towards technical charting again. In this post, I talked about how the pull of investing and TA made me go towards a zone where things are not so grey. More hybrid and dual class rather than single class. My philosophy towards the market gets clearer from that post onward. After a series of setbacks, I also started to rethink about the ambitious goal of setting 15% returns per year. I blogged about it here. I chuckled when I see some of the younger red-blooded bloggers wanted to reach this 15% pa goal, and I think whether they would also, in the future, change their stance. We shall see :) On a personal finance side, I think this year is the watershed year where I started on my 50k savings challenge. It started from here and I blogged about it here after I've completed it. I'm a lot more pig headed on my 50k savings challenge back then, with all the bravado "Whatever it takes, for as long as it takes". I smiled broadly when I read that post. Oh, if only the youthful me knows what I know now , haha

2010: When two becomes one

This is the year I got married. I had wanted to do something sweet for that special day and I chronicled it here. I was stressed up with the whole thing, and also had to relook at some of the values and principles that had brought me thus far. I shared this interesting post regarding the burden of supporting one's family. Kids? I also thought deeply about that issue, especially after seeing so many people having kids but not knowing why I wanted to have one. This issue is especially relevant since our new family member is coming very soon now. I blogged about my concerns here and I think I will get back to that question to answer it from another perspective. Wait for it :) There's a post that I will likely not forget too- it's so bad that my readers and close friends starting messaging me asking if I'm well. It's this post that started it all. On an interesting note, Sabana and GLP IPO this very year. After nearly 6 to 7 years, Sabana had gone down the drain and GLP huat until no horse run. As the running joke goes, when you invest, make sure you buy only companies that goes up. If only we knew in advance!

2011: The march towards financial independence

This is the year that I started reading heavily on financial independence. I guess I've sorted out the investment philosophy (blogged about it here) by trying out both investing and trading, hence it's time to move towards the bigger picture of the 'why' in investing. I saw a paper trade of Singtel here, and the price was 3.05 thereabouts. I've set a target price of 3.19, so even if I had made the trade and made the profit, it's not going to play a big part towards my financial status. They key is in the longer term, bigger percentage gains over a long period, which is what investing should be about. But even so, unless I invested a huge chunk of my networth in it, it ultimately wouldn't affect me much too. The one thing that can affect my financial status is really just plain ol' work. That is an important realisation after so many years of trying to fight with others in the market. On the global scope, this year is where there is such a major earthquake in Japan that the nuclear plant suffered meltdown. This is not the only that that melted down; Nikkei responded by melting down 10.5% as well. See it here.

2012: Deep inside the rabbit hole

This year I hit a rough patch in blogging, and throughout the year, I only managed a total of 24 post, which is about 2 a month. I blogged about how the local pool of bloggers started dropping one by one, and I wondered if this post is going to be my swan song as well. I got really sick of my 50k challenge as well, because suddenly I don't have a reason to save anymore. That was about the time I moved into my new home, had very little work and suffered some business losses. Goodness, if I can go back in time to tell the past me, I'll tell him that good times are going to come soon, just bear with it! This year is the year where I explored my existence and wondered why I am doing what I am doing.

2013: The phoenix re-born

I broke through the rough patch in year 2012. This year I started investing for my parent's retirement funds. They initially just wanted to put in a fixed deposit, but I'm sure I can give better returns than that, hence I gave them a guarantee on their capital and also guaranteed their minimum returns. This is also known as LP's bond, and I chronicled many posts in the blog, starting from this. In the process of finding out about the allocation of their portfolio, I investigated deeply into STI here and found out that among other things, the probability of losing if you invest over 14 yrs is really really low. The average return is 8.8% pa, with median of 6.6% but with a sd of 29.1%, so that result might not mean much. I blogged about death and dying here and how my wife should act if I'm gone suddenly. This happened after lunch in a subway outlet. We might be great at investing, but our spouse might not be, so it's important to make things as simple and as stress free for them as possible. I started having a reason to save up again, and had wanted to save 30k at first (I didn't hit it, I saved $25k). I shifted a new paradigm and model of work, where students come over to my home for lessons instead of me going over. I had no idea how it will be received by them. It was a year of trepidation and anxeity, but also a great sense of peace and calm over because I know had a very good idea that I really like my work. Every time I have an existential crisis, I come out stronger and surer than before. A phoenix dies and is reborn from the ashes. On a personal finance note, I started using YNAB (you need a budget) to sync my expenses tracking with mobile and desktop easily. Never looked back to my trusty spreadsheet since.

2014: The fire of the phoenix burns brighter 

After 2 years of in the dump for my work, I started getting the right mix of students who are willing to come over to my place for work. Because I don't have to travel, I can squeeze in more work hours and my income and savings exploded exponentially from this year onwards. I started kungfucatsacademy (blogged about it here) and even have a service standard for my tuition lessons (here). This whole exercise of starting a website for my tuition services makes me think and clarify the kind of work that I want to do. I started having fun with blogging again, and wrote a new series called short stories, where I wrote poems, short stories and lyrics to write about my thoughts and feelings. The first of which is a short story called An Empty House. After my clarity in my investment philosophy and the new found clarity in my tuition, I began to dream again. I set up near term plans and goals here, and even up to now, I'm still working on them. This year I broke my 50k savings goal and saved 68k,while skipping to work with a playful smile.

2015: Channeling the mana 

Started on spiritual journey and challenged myself to 100 days of meditation here. I began reading about all sorts of mantra and religious texts to discover the spiritual side of me, something that I've not explored till this far. It start off a series of exercises that began with meditation, eating healthily and intermittent fasting. What an amazing journey, and I must thank our founding father LKY for introducing meditation to me in his interviews. This year is also the year where many retail bonds started listing in the market, like Aspial, Oxley and fraser centrepoint ltd. Most of the post I've blogged about them ended being the most read posts in my blog, so there's immense interest in them. I must re-share this poem about realizing the value of our time here. Do you know what's the value of one year, of one month, of one hour, of one minute, of one second and one millisecond? Read it to find out.

2016: When two becomes three

I closed off the first tranche of my parents's investing, called LP bond that I started in 2013. I blogged about the returns here. I also updated my goals and streamlined the process in which my savings are chanelled to. I still haven't resolved the issue of what to do with my savings - to invest or to pay off housing debt, but at least I'm doing something that hedges both. You can read it here. I discovered Investingnote (here) and it changed how I handle my charting homework that I do almost every week. I'm still amazed at the kind of things that is shared over there and I'm glad I can learn a few tricks here and there shared by the generous bunch of folks there. For the very first time, I also shared my method of counter-trend trading here. I realised that most traders are trend followers and counter trend is about as different to trend trending as trading is to investing. This year is also the last year where me and my wife is going to spend Christmas together as a couple :)


Conclusions

I think not a lot of bloggers can boast having written a reflection post after a decade long period of blogging, haha! There is so much more that is left unsaid, and this is just a copy of a copy of a copy. While bullythebear is always here, my cbox had always been around. There are regulars in the cbox whom I've met and become friends through our various meals together at Beng Hiang, some of whom even attended my wedding. While some had come and gone, at least the memories of having fun together still stays in my mind. Thank you to all the readers, some of whom have gone on to start their own blogs, to all the cbox regulars and irregulars, even to the troll who really hate me but still loves to comment, thank you all for adding colour and texture to my life.

May there be more 10 years to come!

Read More

Reflection of year 2016

I think it's important to take stock of what had happened in 2016 and then reflect on the various pillars that make up my life. Let's have a look:


1. Finance

As a financial blogger, this naturally comes first. I'll break it up into two parts, personal finance and portfolio. In 2016, I pushed through my limit of how much I can work in a day. I didn't exactly plan to make a record breaking year, but things just happened this way. As a result, I worked in excess of 45 to 50 hours a week, and that's just the normal non peak hours. This included a 14 hours work on sat that takes me from 8am to 11pm (1 hr for lunch + dinner). I'm glad it's over, but because of the huge amount of work hours, my savings for this year also hit a record high of 70k+. No pain no gain I guess? With regards to expenses, nothing much had changed, except that now there is a new category of expenses labelled under 'Baby'. I think this will take front center stage for expenses in 2017. We shall see.

Portfolio is doing well. Since I started using sgxcafe, I've been tracking my XIRR through their site (I don't calculate xirr on my own). Here's my result:

2016 is an okay year I guess. I'll do more of what I do in 2014 to 2016 and less of what I did in my earliest years. I realised that as long as I don't have negative xirr (or too many negatives), I'll do fine. I think that's why Warren Buffett must be talking about when he says we shouldn't lose our capital. But enough of that, that's another story another time. Portfolio size increase to an all time high this year, with an estimated $700+ dividend income per month in 2017. It looks like my goal of reaching $1k per month dividend income is coming nearer.

Verdict: 5/5

2. Mind

If food is the nourishment for the body, then books must be the nourishment for the mind. I read 40 books this year, a little short of the usual 52 books a year target. I know it's not because of a lack of time - I can definitely squeeze in the time if I wanted to. I'm a little pre-occupied by games in 2016, so that is the true time waster. If I have to justify for this lack of reading in 2016, it's likely because of the long hours of work, so I'm doing something else to take my mind off it. I guess the last thing I want to do after dealing with mental work is to do more mental work by reading.

I bought the Koss Porta pro classic ($74.10) right at the start of the year. I wanted to get it because my speakers back then are failing and I need a pair of headphones to compensate. But my speakers did fail eventually, and I had to get the Logitech Z623 speaker system ($188.90) to totally replace the system. After that, I stopped using the Koss porta classic headphone. It seems trivial and that's how life is like. If you don't solve the issue, and find temporary solutions to solve it, eventually you'll waste more time and effort and you have to solve the initial problem again. I'll bear this lesson in mind.

But I'm generally happy with how my spending is. Most are aligned with my values and I don't find myself too fixated on the monetary part of the spending. I think if my mind is not ready for financial independence, I'll never be, regardless of how my actual finance situation is like. So for me, the problem is with letting go and not controlling so much on the money aspect. I think I did well on that.

Verdict: 3/5 (3 for failing to hit target for reading)

3. Body

I started the year doing my usual pull ups / push up. It came to a point where I feel I'm pretty strong. My system is to do either 30 pushup (standard but proper form) and/or 30 pull ups in a day (I've a pull up bar at home, so I do as many as I can throughout the day until I hit it. Overgrasp, wider than shoulder width). I consistently did that until about June/July period where I was down with severe diarrhea and stomache/vomiting. It lasted for a good month or so and totally killed off my momentum. I haven't been exercising regularly since.

On the diet side, I'm eating fruits every day for breakfast and every other week or so, I'll eat fruits for lunch too. Carbs I've reduced to half the usual portion (half a bowl of rice or lesser). I'm practicing intermittent fasting also, and all my bloatiness after eating carbs is all gone. That's really fantastic. At first, after starting to eat just fruits, I felt weak but still alert. After getting used to it, it's actually quite comforting. I think I've removed one huge paradigm of thought, that we don't have to keep our stomach filled all the time. It's amazingly liberating.

I'm stopping and starting a new regime of climbing up the stairs. I live on the 22nd floor, so will be doing to 13th floor and then up the lift from there. I do it every time I go up to my home, so that's minimally twice a day. We'll see how it catches on.

Verdict: 2/5 (failed exercise routine)

4. Spirit

I stopped the meditation challenge where I meditated everyday for 100 days. It ended in early Jan in 2016 and I thought it was the most powerful act I've ever done in my life. The effects are lasting and it helped me to overcome the urge to stay in my emotional state. For example, if I'm angry with my wife, I can last for a week to a few days in the past. My mind will start having fantasy argument and if she said this, I'll say that and all. These days, I recognise the onset of a bad emotional state, and re-wire it away as soon as I can. It's like you saw the bullet coming in, then you just avoid it away, so there's no need to deal with the wound and all that. It's fantastic.

One of the highlights of 2016 is to take extreme ownership in whatever I do. It helps me to go through lessons where the student is extremely irritable to me. I'll question and rethink what I can do to make the situation better rather than resign to fate. I can always do something about it.

If 2015 is a year where I began meditation, then 2016 is the year I began fasting consciously and taking control of my food choices. I think these practices creates a lot of mental clarity and sharpens my mind.

Verdict: 5/5

Good work! Attack of Takeshi castle - SUCCESS!

Read More

The year 2016 in terms of books read

It's becoming clear as we move towards the end of 2016 that my target of reading 52 books this year is not going to happen. Not going to give any excuses for not being able to do so, it is just as it is. As usual, I'm going to list down all the books that I've read, then I'm going to recommend a few good ones that forms a deep impression after reading.

Here's the list of all 38 40 (updated 28th Dec 2016) books that I've read this year:

Alibaba: The house that Jack Ma built - Duncan Clark
The new sell and sell short - Alexander Elder
Living with a SEAL - Jesse Itzler
When breath becomes air - Paul Kalanithi
Continuum concept - Jean Liedloff
Asian Godfathers - Joe Studwell
Pregnancy: for the first time moms - Darrell Spice
Hard truths to keep Singapore going - Lee Kuan Yew
Extreme ownership - Jocko Willink & Leif Babin
Choose yourself - James Altucher
Gorilla mindset - Mike Cernovich
Beautiful souls - Eyal Press
Start-up nation - Dan Senor/Saul Singer
Concierge confidential - Michael Fazio
What money can't buy - Michael Sandel
It's only money - Cara MacMillan
Real Food / Fake Food - Larry Olmsted
Be financially free - Morten Strange
Flashpoints - George Friedman
The monk who sold his Ferrari - Robin Sharma
Left behind 01 - Tim Lahaye, Jerry Jenkins
Dietland - Sarai Walker
The money culture - Michael Lewis
Absolute beginner's guide to pregnancy - John Adams, Marta Justak
The Happiness Equation - Neil Pasricha
The Infinite Sea - Rick Yancey
Forever Free - Joe Halderman
The art of Procrastination - John Perry
Forever Peace -Joe Halderman
The Forever War - Joe Halderman
Fahrenheit 451 - Ray Bradbury
Bartleby The Scrivener - Herman Melville
Man's search for meaning - Viktor Frankl
Do androids dream of electric sheep? - Philip K. Dick
Portfolios of the poor - Daryl Collins et al
Gang leader for a day - Sudhir Venkatesh
The ultimate success secret - Daniel S. Kennedy
The education of millionaires - Michael Ellsberg
Way of the peaceful warrior - Dan Millman
Money: Master the game - Tony Robbins

I can probably squeeze one book book or two before the year is up, but that is pretty much it. Not in any order of preference, here's the shortlist of 6 books that I think are crucial in my personal development:

Portfolios of the poor - Daryl Collins et al

Man's search for meaning - Viktor Frankl

Flashpoints - George Friedman

Beautiful Souls - Eyal Press

Start-up nation - Dan Senor/Saul Singer

Extreme ownership - Jocko Willink/Leif Babin

When breath becomes air - Paul Kalanithi

1. Portfolios of the poor is so good that I can't help but post some sort of reflections while I'm still half way through the book. You can read about my post here. It talks about the financial statements (balance sheet and cash flow) of those who are living wit 2 USD per month or below. No other books I've read talks about the portfolio of the poor and their apparently bad choices in life like this book. I think while it's important to read the majority of the books out there that talks about the portfolio of the rich, it's also important to examine the other side. After all, both cases are extremes and likely we fall in between these two.

2. This book is on so many people's recommended list that you just have to read it to see why. He is a logo-therapist who survived the Holocaust and found that people who suffered needed meaning to understand why they are suffering. Everyone can take suffering, as long as it serves a greater purpose, but nobody wants to take meaningless suffering. It is a very engaging book and is a page turner for me. Beware, because once you started on this, you  might just want to quickly get to a quieter corner to devour this book in its entirety as soon as possible.

3. This is a sequel of the book "The next decade" also by the same author, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. This continues from where he left off and focuses more on the EU region and where the conflict areas, known as flashpoints, are in the region. I read this around the Brexit saga and it allows me to understand the different scenarios that might be played out. This is a very interesting book if you're interested in the global political scene that is happening right in front of our very eyes. What will happen to Russia, and to the different countries that made up the EU? How is Turkey going to navigate the scene, being sandwiched between Europe and the middle east?

4. This is a brilliant book recommended by Sillyinvestor. It is collection of stories that portrays real people displaying extraordinary courage by rising above all others to do what they think is right. The author infuses each story with some comments on how difficult it is to go beyond the social rules of the group and act what is right. There is a story of an immigration officer who allowed fleeing Jews into Switzerland, a guy who did the right thing in the conflict between the Croats and Serbs, an israeli soldier who refused to follow orders and a whistle blower in corporate America. It's a very light reading but with a very heavy lesson behind all the stories - when it comes to your turn, would you sacrifice personal gains to do what is morally right?

5. What's wrong with Singapore's education system? How come we don't have a start up culture here, compared to other countries? Israel is one of the most war torn nation surrounded by hostile countries who loved nothing but to see the downfall of their nation, but it still produces a lot of companies that brings so much innovation plus patents that drives technological advances globally. This book explores some of the things that went right for Israel. There's a lot of references to Singapore as a comparison to Israel, so the locals here might find it very relevant. I think any parents or teachers with a stake in educating our next generation will find this book extremely relevant and thought provoking. 

6. Two SEAL officers come together to give business consultation to companies by applying what they've learnt in their combat training and experience. I thought it'll be pretty cheesy, but it's surprising relevant. Every chapter they will illustrate some exciting combat situation and how they navigated through all the screw up and potential dangers and emerged victorious. And after that, they will apply this story to one case in their consulting work, followed by a summary of the lesson. One concept of extreme ownership is what I'm trying to practice after reading it. It's about how everything and anything that didn't go according to your plan is your fault. If my student is not motivated, it's my fault. If my student didn't do well, it's my fault. If my student wanted to leave the tuition, it's my fault. It might be a little harsh, but it empowers me and gives me the ability to change my environment, rather than to give that power away. One of the best self help book I've read this year in 2016. Don't take my word for it, go and read and see for yourself.

7. After reading Viktor Frankl's book on Man's search for meaning, this book seems like accompanying book. While Viktor's book is more philosophical and theoretical, Paul's book is much more practical and it feels that the author is showing us how to lead a life full of meaning even though he is suffering. I think there is a great deal of lessons we can learn from him. This book can be read easily and is a page turner, so be prepared to sleep late at night once you've started on this book. Be warned. You might even cry a little at the end of it all.

In 2017, I'm going to have a major change in my status. I'm going to be a father! I wonder if that will derail my target of 52 books a year. Probably so, but we shall see. As it is, I still intend to read, but I wonder if this is just fantasy on my part haha :)

Read More

Two new systems to change my life

I usually spent the last few days towards the end of the year to do some serious reflection on the practices and the system that I used for the entire year, to see if I can improve it or fine tune it further. I will share two systems that I had recently been implementing that I think will streamline my thought process for further reflection at the end of the year. The first has to do with trading, and the second is more to do with my line of work.


Trading system

Problem: 

In the past before I started using Investingnote in 2016, I have a huge issue with remembering the homework that I do with the charts. The problem is that the charting software I'm using only allows me to save x number of charts. And to add to the problem, it sometimes hangs and all the saved data is gone, including my watchlist. That is extremely frustrating. Due to the lack of a proper system to jot down my thoughts when I'm doing my homework, it becomes highly discretionary. There are situations where I had forgotten some charts that I'm eyeing at, and so missed the opportunity to act on it. The more important thing that is problematic is that I lack a feedback system to tell me if what I'm observed weeks or months earlier will play out as I predicted. This resulted in a very chaotic learning system. This problem is compounded by the fact that POEMS do not have the good till date order system. All orders will be cancelled by the end of the day. It makes planning a trade nearly impossible for me.

Solution:

Since using Investingnote, I started developing a system where I can track the homework that I do. I have four watchlist:

1. General watchlist
2. Bullish divergence
3. Bearish divergence
4. Close monitoring

The first watchlist (General watchlist) is a collection of companies that I've heard about and is interesting to me at that point in time. Usually this consists of roughly about 2 pages worth of various companies from different industries. If I hear or read about anything interesting, this is the watchlist that the company first get stored under.

The second watchlist (Bullish divergence) belongs to a collection of companies that I think will have a potential to go up. Because I'm looking at daily, weekly and monthly timeframe, sometimes the signal might take a while before it happens, so this is a place where I will check on the chart every weekend. During market extremes (usually a fierce market selldown or euphoria), I might even check it every end of the day.

The third watchlist (Bearish divergence) belongs to a collection of companies that I think will have a potential to go down. This is simply the opposite direction of the second watchlist.

The last watchlist (close monitoring) is the one where immediate action needs to be taken in the next trading week (within 5 days). This is where I will check intraday (the charts from investingnote are live intraday!) and also end of each trading day. Queue orders will be submitted if I think a trading signal is satisfied.

Having a watchlist is not the end point. The key thing is that after every round of homework towards the end of each trading day or trading week, I'll shift them around the four watchlist. Sometimes counters in the general watchlist get shifted to the bullish divergence one, and after some time, they get 'upgraded' to the close monitoring for further action.

The advantages of this system is that:

a. I don't need to waste time looking at all the whole universe of counters to sieve out the ones that requires my immediate attention. Within each trading week, I'll zoom in straight to the 'close monitoring' watchlist and see if I need to do any actions.

b. I can learn if my system works through the follow up of signals because I have a system that allows me to track them over a period of time, upgrading or downgrading them when they occur. This allows me to finetune and improve my observation skills required in my technical charting skillset. I probably learn a lot this year than in the past 5 years!

c. I can tell if the market is turning by looking at the collection of companies in the bullish and bearish divergences watchlist. Currently there is nothing in my bearish divergence watchlist and most of the reits are in my bullish divergence watchlist with many of them upgrading to the close monitoring watchlist. There was a time almost all the reits are in the bearish divergence watchlist. You can see and feel the market movement better this way, including rotational sectorial plays.

d. Time savings. Since I don't waste time tracking things that are not immediate and urgent, every end of trading day homework takes less than 10 mins to do. End of trading week homework takes a bit longer since I have to browse through all the companies in all the watchlist, but that takes at most 30 mins. I feel much more efficient and because just like in an emergency room, this system acts like a trading triage that classifies different counters according to their immediacy and direction.


Why the heck didn't I think of this earlier? I think part of the 'excuse' that I had is that the technology to make this system work is not in place yet. I'm going to continue doing this and finetune it.


Student relationship management system

Problem:

I have quite a number of students in any one year, and I have a pen and paper notebook that I write on after every lesson, detailing the dates of the lesson and also the things that I did after each lesson. The point of doing this is to allow me to reflect after each lesson had finished and also to allow me to remember which point I am in the teaching of the syllabus. The problem here is that because my note book goes page by page in a weekly format, I can see each week which students I had for the week, and the lessons I had with them, but I have no way to see in a page what topics had been covered by me for any one particular student. To do that, I will have to browse through all the weeks before by flipping my notebook. This system had been working well for me for over a decade, but I felt that I could improve it further. I could add a section on the homework that I've given, plus the difficulties faced by the student doing that homework (this I had never captured before in my current system), and also what to do in the following section. I can't do this like a NIE teacher with a prescribed lesson plan because each student comes to me at different foundation and at different times, and I have to address all the issues that they face within a set period of time before they sit in for their exams. With 20+ students, that has always been problematic. I need a proper student relationship management system.

Solution:

The solution is really to digitize my notes. I've been using Evernote for that purpose. Under a notebook called 'Students', I write down a brief profile of the student, including the chapters that they had gone through at that point in time before taking my lessons. It will also include the list of chapters that I had covered with the student. After going through a lesson with a student, I'll write my usual handwritten note on my notebook. When I had the time towards the end of the day, I'll key into Evernote a detailed lesson reflection. This includes the date of the lesson, the type of questions the student had problems with, the exact things that is taught during that lesson, the worksheet given. Under the reflection, there will be a line where I will include the homework given. Under that line again, there will be another line where I will write down the things that I will do in the following lesson

The advantage of the system:

I tried to be rationale and list down a, b and c of all the advantages I can think of. I gave up. In truth, there's really only one reason.

I have an excellent memory, up to 2 to 3 weeks, for all my 20+ students that I had in a year. But as I'm getting older, my memory may fail me. I might forget what I've covered with my students, especially after a long break (say 3 weeks or more). I don't want that to happen. In the past, I'll just ask my students, but now I want to have a journal log of what I've done. This will allow me to track everything through all the lessons I had with the student.

On a more sentimental note, it's also to remember that I had gone through all these things with my students.

Just this week, a student came in with a black face. I knew something isn't right and I asked him about it. He just mentioned he had family issues (I guess it's a quarrel with the parents), so I reduced the stress level heaped onto that student. Start to talk a little more to get him into the mood of doing and I also forget about my usual nitpicking. I didn't write it down yet, but I suspect as I'm more familiar with this new system, I'll slowly add it in. Maybe an emotional state of the student. Maybe something interesting that happened in the lesson.

Last year I had another student. He is in NA stream, and I think he is the best learner I've ever seen. He just devours everything he can find in a topic that he is interested in. At that point in time, he is interested in making bullwhips and he searched the internet, watched countless youtube and made his own whip and practiced in it. He knew all the theories and science behind the cracking of a whip. All these will be lost if I didn't record them down.

Is there really an advantage to this system?

Yup. I use my time and life-energy to do the work that I do. The time that I spent with my students ought to be remembered like a treasured faded photograph with my family. I don't want to reduce my students to a grade, or a name. These are living breathing little humans that are learning how to navigate the world. And it's all too easy to forget that while we're trying to earn a living through our work. I don't want to lose that part of it and throw them away. This is what makes my work meaningful and it should stay that way. THAT is the advantage to this system.

Read More

Sabana Reit 42 for 100 rights exercise

Sabana just announced a rights exercise. For every 100 shares that you have before XR, you're entitled to 42 rights shares priced at $0.258. Based on their track record, I don't think it'll be well received.

I once bought Sabana reit at 0.960 back in Nov 2010 and sold it at a 0.910. After dividends, thankfully I still make a very slight profit of 0.7%. I told my wife to get rid of it too. From then, the share price just went lower and lower until it hits 0.435 today. Imagine a 50% loss but with a yield of 8 to 9% pa! The dividend is not going to be enough to cover the loss in capital.

There's quite a few people asking around on what to do with their Sabana reits. I think we can safely classify into 2 types:

A. Those who had shares in this
B. Those who don't have any shares but wanting to get into it.

I can tell you frankly, rights issue is going to benefit people in group B more than group A most of the time.

Don't slip on this slippery banana skin

For people in group A:

1. You can decide on a fundamental basis whether you want to sink in more money into this or not. If you don't want to, you should sell it as soon as possible and close off the case. It'll be silly to subscribe to the rights and put more money, and after XR, the price likely will go down lower and wait for extended periods before going up again. If you're okay with this, then go ahead and subscribe to the rights entitled to you and apply for excess. This will lower down your average price and hopefully it'll come to light one day.

Do look at this post here. Most of the companies that issue right will recover back to the price before announcement of rights exercise between 1 month to 1.5 years. That's just based on statistics on a small sample size. So take it with a pinch of salt.


For people in group B:

1. You can buy nil paid rights during the trading period for the rights shares. But remember, you do have to go to the atm to subscribe (and pay) for them, otherwise they will expire worthless. There could be arbitrage opportunities when the difference between the nil paid rights and the mother share is not 0.258.

2. You can buy the mother shares before XR, get the entitled rights and then apply for a lot of excess rights. This way, you might get a lot more excess rights than the prescribed ratio of 42 for every 100 shares, so you might end up with a lower average price.

3. Buy after XR. Since you have 1 month to 1.5 yrs before the price recovers, you'll have plenty of time to pick and choose a right point to enter.



After the change in lot size from 1000 shares to 100 shares, things need not be so complicated anymore. I'll just go for strategy (3). I'll be looking at this to see if I can get just one more puff out of this used cigarette.

Read More

Somebody staring at me

I wore a new t-shirt out today and noticed a few people, especially the guys, looking at me. I know because I saw their eyes trying to read what my t-shirt says. I took a selfie of myself and here's how I look:

Yeah, I know my face is something that comes out of a horror film. But really, I think it's my t-shirt that these people are looking at. I think my t-shirt is a good conversation starter. I'm wearing it for work and hoping one day my students, out of curiosity, would ask me what Financial Independence means. I'll be all prepared and ready to deliver my heart wrenching, inspirational speech about financial freedom with the soundtrack of Braveheart in the backdrop.


Here's how my fantasy reply goes:

1. I'll ask what they think financial independence is all about.

2. I'll ask them for some reasons why people work.

3. I'll ask if they had ever done anything that they will gladly do for free because it's exactly how they would spend their leisure time on

4. I'll ask if they would want to be able to do things like that for the rest of their lives

5. I'll ask how they would feel if I can show them a way where they no longer have to work for a living, and have all the freedom and time to pursue what they want to do (cue for Braveheart music)

6. I'll sell them a series of video links at $99.99 each and be freaking rich

6. That's what Financial Independence is all about.

7. Students leave my place, all teary but inspired. Each step they take take sparkles with the fire of passion. Each breath they take fills their lungs with air and purpose. Each heartbeat sends positive energy and optimism that vibrates throughout their body. Sounds coming out of their mouth are like angels singing. Light entering their eyes are rainbows brightening their vision.


Nah, most likely my students will mouth out an invisible huh, and proceed to play with their handphone on their way out, with me screaming at their backs to remember to do their work for the next lesson. Or they wouldn't even ask because their curiosity about the world had been deadened by the burden of the school. I bet they wouldn't even ask where I got my t-shirt from.

It's okay, perhaps my readers will ask. Or perhaps one day when my students are ready, this blog will be here for them.

Read More

Closing off a tranche of LP 'bonds'

I handled my parent's portfolio since end 2013, and I'm still handling them now. Recently, my parents wanted to withdraw out 40k. My parent's portfolio is handled in tranches, according to the timing where they gave a lump sum to me. Since the first tranche of money is 50k, and the portfolio also consisted of Capital mall asia bonds (CapmallA3.8%b220112) that is going to be redeemed back in Jan 2017 (here), I decided to cash out the entire portfolio and return it to them.


When I first started out, the options are pretty limited. I looked back at my older article here on the philosophy behind the allocation. The fixed deposit for foreign banks are giving 1.25% pa for 2 years, while the local banks are giving about 0.55% for the same period. Now, the rates for local fixed deposit for 2 yr is doubled, at 1% pa. For POEMS money market fund (MMF), it was 0.5% pa in end 2013. Now the MMF is giving a return of about 0.9% pa and still rising. You can see the macro environment changing over the last 3 years. There isn't even a singapore saving bonds back then. If it's available, I'll definitely consider putting some money in it since it satisfies the criteria of handling my parent's money, which is a guarantee on capital and also a higher than fixed deposit return.


And so I did the allocation of the 50k. The terms are laid out in this post here. I'll summarise the gist of the terms here too. It's like a bond, with a fixed yearly yield of 2% pa, no fixed duration or maturity period, and I will guarantee that their capital will stay intact when they want to cash it out. So the actual instruments I used to achieve this aims can be found in this post here. Mainly it's pref shares from banks and high quality retail bond. There is a change in the portfolio because the pref shares from OCBC bank (OCC 5.1% NCPS 100), was redeemed back in Dec 2015, which I've mentioned in this article here. The portfolio didn't lose money, but it affected the returns because of the unexpected earlier redemption.


I took the money and reinvested in Frasers centerpoint ltd bonds (FCL Trea 3.65% b220522), and that's all the transactions there is until today. Let's see the returns over the 3 year period where I handled the money.


Initial capital: $50,000
Date of inception: 27th Dec 2013

Total brokerage fees in buying/selling: $342.13
Percentage of brokerage to capital invested: 0.68% total or 0.225% pa
Total amount of dividends given out: $2,000
Cash retained in portfolio: $3,881.43

Current value of portfolio (all in): $53,402.43
Total portfolio returns (inclusive of paid dividends): $55,402.43
Date of closing: 12 Jan 2016 (that's when the capital from the redeemed cap mall bonds will be returned)

Absolute profit: $5,402.43
Percentage return: 10.80%
Time period of handling portfolio: 1112 days
Average returns per year: 3.55% pa

That's fantastic, in my own opinion. I beat the Singapore savings bond over the same period of 3 years. Even at their best of 2.78% per year over 10 years (Issued in Nov 2015), their 3 yr average return per year is 1.48%. Their Dec 2016 issue is worse. At 1.87% per year over 10 yrs, their 3 yr average return per year is 1.03%.

Shit, I should just take a cut of 0.7% pa of NAV, as 'management fees' over the last 3 yrs in which I managed my parent's money. I'll get about $1k, and the average returns per year will drop to 2.86 % pa. Still very decent lol!


Reflections:

It had been a very good learning experience for me to start and close off this tranche of investment money. I had to think deeply about the benchmark I want to set, and also the criteria in which my allocation philosophy is based on. In addition, I also have to think about how to set aside the amount I want to distribute out so that I can retain the cash to pay for things like commission and more importantly, to offset any possible losses from early redemption from my parents and also from the inherent capital loss from buying retail bonds at above par value. In between, there is also switching of the portfolio allocation because of redemption by the issuer. I'm glad I didn't lose any money on my parent's behalf!

Read More

I knew I loved you before I met you

I knew I loved you before I met you, so goes the song by Savage Garden. When I first heard that song, I thought it's just some mythology that some romantics had dreamed of. I don't really believe in love at first sight. Until it happened to me (okay, technically there's no 'sight').

That little kick, that little tremor, especially at night. The black and white pictures we took every other month. The vast amount of conversation we had regarding what we're going to do, and how we plan to do this and that. The huge amount of research reading we did and the youtube videos we watched.

All these for someone whom I've never met. How can it be?

I believe more and more these days that if we gone through all the various cycles of life, then we will empathize and understand why people do certain things. I think that's one of the first insight as a parent, that there are two persons in the world who loved you even before you are born. My parents, no matter how bad I was as a kid, or how naughty I am, loved me before I was born. So is everybody.

That's an incredible insight.

I'm waiting with fear and tribulation for more such experiences.

Read More