Monday, December 30, 2019

2019 list of books read

I managed to read 52 books this year despite a heavier than usual work schedule. What did I sacrifice to read more? Nothing that I would have missed anyway. Instead of logging on to social media apps (I deleted them), and reading short news articles from websites, I just used my handphone to read ebooks. My reading habits had changed a little since I had a kid because I couldn't sit down and read for extended hours, so a handphone with an ebook reading app would be more than sufficient to occupy those waiting times that pop up every now and then.



Of the 52 books, 19 of them are fiction - that's about 36%. Some people don't read fiction at all, which is like me in the past. I'm quite a late adopter of fiction. These days, I can't tell for sure which is fiction and which isn't, frankly. The 19 fictional books that I said earlier in this paragraph, I had to do some interpretation myself.

Here's the list of the books I've read:

52) The end of absence - Michael Harris
51) Surrounded by Idiots - Thomas Erikson
50) Everything is F*cked - Mark Manson
49) The Rosie result - Graeme Simsion
48) The Redemption of Time - Baoshu
47) Permanent Record - Edward Snowden
46) Gulp - Mary Roach
45) Montauk Project - Preston B. Nichols / Peter Moon
44) Ball lightning - Liu Cixin
43) Uncle Hitler - Alfred Nestor
42) Efficiency - Wall Street Playboys
41) How to raise successful people - Esther Wojcicki
40) Death's End - Liu Cixin
39) The Dark Forest - Liu Cixin
38) The Three-Body problem - Liu Cixin
37) Educated - Tara Westover
36) Band of brothers - Stephen E Ambrose
35) The whole-brain child - Daniel J. Siegel
34) Miniatures - John Scalzi
33) Total recall - Arnold Schwarzenegger
32) The paper menagerie and other stories - Ken Liu
31) Norse Mythology - Neil Gaiman
30) The Compound Effect - Darren Hardy
29) Broken Stars - Ken Liu
28) The great cholesterol myth - Jonny Bowden
27) Lies my doctor told me - Ken D. Berry
26) Ms Bixby's last day - John David Anderson
25) Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance - Robert M. Pirsig
24) Thinking in Bets - Annie Duke
23) HIIT explained - James Driver
22) Solitude - Michael Harris
21) American Gods - Neil Gaiman
20) Leaders eat last - Simon Sinek
19) The Time paradox - Philip Zimbardo / John Boyd
18) The Fifth Risk - Michael Lewis
17) The hour between dog and wolf - John Coates
16) Hero - R.A. Salvatore
15) Crash course - Kim Bearden
14) The Singapore Blue Chips - Nandini Vijayaraghavan & Umesh Desai
13) Little soldiers - Lenora Chu
12) Flatland - Edwin. A. Abbott
11) The Pianist - Wladyslaw Szpilman
10) Keep calm and mother on - Pauline Loh
9) Archmage - R.A. Salvatore
8) How to write a sentence - Stanley Fish
7) The smartest kids in the world - Amanda Ripley
6) Laws of Human Nature - Robert Greene
5) Maths learning difficulties, Dyslexia and Dyscalculia - Steve Chinn
4) Head on - John Scalzi
3) Shoe Dog - Phil Knight
2) Neither Civil nor Servant - Peh Shing Huei
1) Vengeance of the Iron Dwarf - R.A. Salvatore


I'll try to shorten the huge list into just 5 books that I would recommend to people who are following my book list.


1. Neither Civil Nor Servant - Peh Shing Huei


This is a book about Philip Yeo, one of the important people who built up Singapore as we know today. He was in various portfolio, including the set up known as ST engineering today, EDB, SPRING, ASTAR etc. He is an engineer, first of all, and someone who can be relied on to solve problems, even if it means breaking a few rules and knocking a few heads on the way there! It is a thoroughly joyful read if only to see how much problems Singapore is saddled with in those important years after independence and trying too hard to survive. I don't know why, but as I get older, I wanted to find out more about this home that I've been living for so many years. I will read this along with Goh Chok Tong's and Lee Kuan Yew's books, just to have a good overall grounding of the history straight from the horses' mouth. Even though he is one of the greats in Singapore who managed to push things through, I think working for him will be a nightmare.

2. Little Soldiers - Lenora Chu


This book is highly recommended by me. It's about how a pair of Chinese parents who migrated to the US, had a daughter who is raised in the US and essentially an American and then going on to have kids who are subsequently back in China again for their education. One complete cycle. It talks about how the education system is like in China, and always in contrast to other nations, specifically in the US. This book is interesting to me because it makes me think about the good and the bad in each system, the straitjacket authoritarian Chinese education system vs the laissez-faire self-directed play to learn style in most Western education system. This book is so interesting that I passed it to my wife to read. And she agrees, which is rare. Personally, I think my style of teaching is more towards China's disciplinarian no-nonsense stuff, while my wife is more towards the Western play-learning style. Between us, hopefully, our kid will get the best of both worlds, haha

3. The Fifth Risk - Michael Lewis


I like all books by Michael Lewis. Okay, to be honest, most books. I don't like his "The New New Things: A Silicon Valley story", but this book is not like that. "The Fifth Risk" talks about the things that we can't imagine that will harm us. Sounds a little like the concept of black swan, isn't it? I think I can divide this book in two parts. The first part being how US president Donald Trump came unexpectedly into a position of power and started, should we say, commercializing the works of different agencies. The heads of these government agencies get replaced by his loyalists, who started upending the good work done by previous officeholders. Maybe 'destroying' is a better word than 'upending'. The second part talks about the weather, and how using big data released for free by the Obama Administration had made prediction less of a random guess. Guess what? It's no longer for free now that the head of the country is changed. Like the other books he wrote, Michael Lewis has a knack of making you interested in things that you are not even remotely interested in the first place.

4. The Time Paradox - Philip Zimbardo and John Boyd


A very insightful book that introduces a new model of thinking for me. We are all familiar with the MBTI test on our personality, but what if our personality is based on time? The authors introduce 6 time perspectives - past positive (focuses on past tradition, values history and cultural inheritance), past negative (focuses on past negative events), present-hedonistic (life of the party, epicurean, love new and fun things), present-fatalistic (believes nothing can change fate), futuristic (sets goals, do month-end accounting, punctual, hates wasting time) and transcendental-future (believes in reincarnation, life after death, karma). The rest of the chapters is about how the different people - pasts, presents and futures - handle different things. I believe financial bloggers are mostly futures, while lifestyle bloggers are mostly present-hedonistic. A lot of messages are preached by the futures for the futures, so for example to prevent teenage pregnancies (the majority are the presents), the advice is to use contraceptives or abstain. The advice works for the future, but they are not the ones needing advice, which is why such campaigns have limited effectiveness. Wow, that really introduces another model to think about things. I highly recommend this book to another who is interested in psychology. By the way, Philip Zimbardo is the researcher behind the infamous Stanford prison experiment, of how our behaviour changes when we just put on a new uniform and change our environment.

5. How To Raise Successful People - Esther Wojcicki


Adopt TRICK principles - Trust, Respect, Independence, Collaboration and Kindness in kids. Each of the chapters in the book talks about the 5 characteristics that successful kids should have, with plenty of examples of how she did it herself. The author had raised several kids who are all very prominent and useful members of their community. I think she is also a good teacher with very strong principles that happened to be spot on after researchers found out years later. Very good read on parenting. If you have kids and is interested in parenting, this is the book to read.


Special mentions

Usually, I don't recommend fiction, because our tastes are seldom the same. But if you're even remotely interested in sci-fi, then you should read Chinese sci-fi. That is the new genre that kept me captivated to no end this year. The original text are in Chinese (read it in its original form if you dare), but is translated by Ken Liu, who is himself a sci-fi writer of quiet renown. It's really fantastic. I would say the works of Liu Cixin rivals that of the greats in the Western world, like Issac Asimov, John Scalzi, Robert Heinlein etc etc

Read the Three-body problem saga by Liu Cixin (LCX) and Baoshu in the following order (as recommended by Unintelligent Nerd), and I guarantee you'll be mind blown by one of the greatest epic science fiction that spreads across thousands and thousands of years.

1. The Three-Body problem - LCX
2. The Dark Forest - LCX
3. Death's End - LCX
4. Ball lightning - LCX
5. The Redemption of Time - Baoshu

Monday, December 16, 2019

Fighting the clutter

Today, I saw the shelves of stuff that I had in my room but had not even touched them for years, and I realised that I had too many stuff. I did a wardrobe clean up a few months ago, and I'm still benefiting from the reduction in clothes. Physical clean up seems to clear my mind too, so I certainly want to repeat the same thing, but this time to my room.

My goal this time is to reduce the number of things I had by 50%. I'm not going to count item by item, but a rough guide would mean that every two drawers I tidied up, I should have one empty drawer at the end of the exercise. That means for every 2 items, I item had to be thrown away or gifted to others.

I started today and so far, I think the results are quite good. I did clear out 2 empty drawers. What did I throw away?

1. Sentimental things like gifts that are given to me by students. This used to be hard, which is the reason why I kept it for years on end. But today, it's not that emotional for me to hold on. I just want to reduce my material possessions. I mean, seriously reduce it.

2. Stationery - goodness..I've kept tonnes and tonnes of whiteboard markers, highlighters, magic pens... most of which are all dried up after keeping for more than 5 yrs without touching them. Why buy them if I am not going to use them, you ask? I didn't buy them, it was given to me by other people. I kept it for so long only because I want to remember the gift. But alas, all these will pass.

3. This last item is not something that I threw away. It was just disorganized, to the point that I can't find the item, hence they are not used. I put them back to their own grouping now, so things are sort of better now.

That took me about 2 hours and I think I'm only 10% done. The hard part is yet to come, which is to sort out the whole stacks of papers and files. Most of them are worksheets. In the past, I used to go to student's place so I have to prepare and print the worksheets on hand. I've not touched those worksheets for years since I have digitalized them and kept as soft copy to print as and when needed. But first I have to sort out which are the ones that are not digitalized yet. Settling this will settle about 50% of the clutter I have in my room, I believe.

The other major problem area is that boxes of tech gadgets that I kept. It could be from games (back when games are still shipped in nice boxes and manual, instead of ubiquitous digital copies these days), computer paraphernalia and mobile phones. This should form another 40% of the clutter in my room. I will likely keep a small part of them but throw out the rest. I know I've not touched them for years, but still, the sentimental part of me makes it hard to let go. Maybe another few years will do the trick.

Clutter feels like a stormy sea to me. Raging, chaotic, a force of destruction

Clearing stuff is only half the battle, the other half will maintenance. I've thought of a system to prevent stuff from cluttering again:

1. Don't buy unnecessary stuff. Absolutely no decorative items for me. Books will have to be in digital ebook format, rather than actual physical books. No choice.

2. Don't hoard things. Some things are cheaper to buy in bulk - I get it. But that doesn't mean I have to get until my whole drawer is full of it, and that I have to take years to finish using. This is usually not an issue for me since I prefer my cash to be liquid rather than stuck in inventory.

3. Throw away the boxes or cartons of stuff that I buy. I tend to keep those, thinking that if there is a need to return, I can do so easily. Perhaps that only happens 1 time out of 10 years? I'll throw them away after 2-3 weeks because if it's still okay by then, it should be okay. This extends to paper bags too. I really hate shopping centres during the festive season. I bought a Moleskine organiser from Tangs yesterday and they gave me a very nice carrier with all the Christmasy feel. I hate them. I want to throw but my wife will resist. Next time, I should strive not to even take it.

4. Sort out the things you brought/bought from outside into your home immediately. If not, it'll be there for weeks, then months, then years. This follows my mailbox letters organising system. Every letter I get will be acted upon immediately. If it's bills, I either put a reminder or pay them on the same day. If it's notification, I will read and act on it or archived for future use. If it's an advertisement, it will not even be brought into my home. If it's stocks related, like company annual reports (god, I hate those), I will browse through them and throw them out. If I can opt not to have it, I will.



I believe I can do this in less than 2 weeks, just before the new year 2020 is up. And what a great way to start the new year with a lot of space and room to breathe, and for new possibilities to happen.


Updates: From now on, this blog will not be spread by me in any way. I do not wish to hide it by keeping it private, yet I do not see the point of it being popular and well-read anymore. Gone are the days that I'll keep it circulated in my social media to get more people to know. It had been fun and I've earned a few cups of coffee and tea during that time, but I think it's time to move on to the next phase. Similar to my own journey towards financial freedom, this blog will also mirror that journey to be quiet, contemplative and reflective of my internal journey. I've been writing, on and off, since 2006 and I've no intention to stop. Perhaps there'll be more 'off' than 'on' these days, but I'll be around. Have great health, great relationship and great wealth.

Thursday, December 05, 2019

Reflection of the year 2019

I promised that I will write a bit more in-depth about the year 2019, qualitatively instead of quantitatively. I shall attempt it here. It's always good to reflect on what had happened in this year, learn from the lessons and make new mistakes in the future. I last made a self-reflection for the year 2018 here. I'll try to give a grade for different themes. My grading matrix is like this: 4 categories, namely Finance, Mind, Body and Spirit. Here goes:


This year my networth increases by about 100k, boosted by higher active income. I had quite a good year with more group lessons, so my income got boosted more than average. On the investment front, STI is up pretty much and as they say, a rising tide lifts all boats. Time-weighted returns is a modest 11.8% vs STI's 6.62%. Okay lah. At this stage, I'm more interested in accumulating enough capital to have a high potential dividend income to prepare for the future when I have to scale down on my active work. The current target is 500k investible cash plus the invested amount. I've a shortfall of about 120k, so I think I should be able to reach that target in 2 to 3 years. If the stock market crashed 50%, then it's a different story of course, haha

Without really tracking closely, I also realised that my dividends from companies + all interest-bearing accounts + income from non-active work, adds up to about 1.2k per month. That is the goal that I had set like 5 yrs ago. Even after subtracting some income that I think are non-recurring, it is still about 1k per month. This means that the plan that I had started 5 yrs ago is starting to bear fruit. I'm very happy about that. 1k per month is about the mortgage (for my half) that I had to pay per month, so it's a huge load off my mind since it is the single biggest debt, and hence worry, that I have currently.

Finance: 10/10


This year I read a lot of books and discovered a new genre to delve into. At present, I had read 50 books, so I should be able to come close to my target of 52 books. I read more because, in the earlier part of the year, I borrowed a lot more physical books from the library in order to show my son that reading is something enjoyable and it's what we do at home. From the book tearing enfant terrible earlier in the year, he progressed to someone who will pick a book up on his own, flips through the pages and tries to read aloud (like us when we are reading to him). I think it's a terrific improvement in that aspect.

The new genre that I discovered this year is Chinese Sci-fi, particularly the works of Ken Liu and Liu Cixin. Mind-blown. I'll do a proper post on the books I've read in the near future, and will also recommend some of the better books from the whole list.

I started learning the piano this year too. I've always said that I wanted to learn how to play the piano, but my 'excuse' is that I'll wait till my son wants to learn so that I can learn together with him. One day, I asked myself what is stopping me from learning right now? Nothing. So I went ahead to buy a weighted digital piano, signed up for Udemy, and started learning. It's slightly more than 1 month already and I'm practising every day for about an hour, regardless of how sucky I am. Learning something new is quite a good experience since it puts me in beginner mode. Very humbling experience.

Mind: 10/10


This year, after Chinese New Year, I bought a Fitbit charge 3 and started exercising every morning, unless I'm ill or otherwise occupied. I've been keeping to that routine for nearly 10 months and I think it is sustainable. It's the longest near-continuous exercising regime that I had ever begun, and I think it's a great start. If I'm sick, I'll just walk for an hour. I started reading up on HIIT (high-intensity interval training) and started incorporating some of it in my exercise too. If you see me cheong-ing up and down a hill in Bedok Reservoir in the morning, it could be me. Hence, this year, I've never felt fitter and more able to run after my kid when we are out. Feels very good. This is probably a life-changing experience for me, and I'm glad to have taken this step.

Started sending my son to childcare earlier this year and was soon introduced to the vicious cycle of illness. It goes like this: son gets flu bug from school, passes around to us, son recovers and goes back to school, we recovered, repeat again and again. Went to take a flu shot for the entire family, and things got so much better. Also took a miracle medication called Clarityne that relieves a lot of symptoms from flu so that I can continue to function properly despite being ill. Being able to function well in spite of illness is part of the routine for self-employed, so carrying it over to the caretaking of my child is just natural. Clarityne is an antihistamine that relieves flu-like symptoms. I wish I knew it earlier lol

I also got infected with Hand Foot Mouth Disease (HFMD) too. In fact, my whole family got it. Thankfully mine isn't that bad. I'll give myself a 9, mainly for the introduction of a sustainable exercise routine.

Body: 9/10


I've stopped doing sitting down meditation for a few years now. These days, if I need to, I'll walk and practice mindfulness. It's a very nice experience and helps to clear my head, especially during stressful period. The interesting thing I've discovered is that even playing on the piano is a great activity to practice mindfulness. It is like I went into a flow and didn't realise an hour has passed. During frustrating practice sessions, I practised on noticing such emotions arising. The only thing that I can't really control well enough yet is when I start recording myself on the piano. During normal practise I'm okay, but when the record button is pressed, things start to go haywire. I start to overthink or just get anxious. I need to work more on that because the skills are transferable and I think it's a great way to practice working under duress.

There's an interesting observation that I noticed about myself. One day, my wife and I are out in a fast-food restaurant. She accidentally spilt the whole lemon tea drink onto me. My whole pants are completely drenched. I noticed that there is a flash of surprise and then anger but it quickly morphed into acceptance. My wife was apologetic but I found the whole situation a bit humorous. It was a strange experience for me because I noticed I didn't react much to that external event, and it didn't affect my mood at all. I think a few years ago, I might have a totally different reaction.

Good progress, I think.

Spirit: 10/10

Attack of Takashi castle - SUCCESS!

Overall, I think 2019 is a great year for me. I lived a lot in this year and will continue to be grateful for what I have and the people around me. In this week alone, I had to send 2 people to the ICU. One is my elderly neighbour, who is in because of severe intestinal pain after a trip to Malaysia. He ended up having to cut away nearly half his entire small intestine out because of inflammation. The other is a family friend who suddenly developed many red rashes all over and had his airway constricted. Both are still under observation in ICU but I think the critical life-threatening period is over. Health is like a bear market - when it crashes, it is sudden and unexpected, often with severe consequences.

In the journey towards financial independence, we often hedge against a longer life, more than our money can last. Remember to hedge against plenty of money, more than our lives can last. Live a little. Appreciate the people around you. Be grateful. Don't regret.

May the new year 2020 be filled with great health, great relationship and great wealth. In that order of importance.

Monday, December 02, 2019

Networth update 2019

2019 is coming to an end, so my usual tradition is to round the year up with an update of my networth numbers and also reflect on the figures to see how the direction is aligned with what I want in my life. In general, I think 2019 is a great year for me. Stock market is generally up and I was working a lot more this year than the last, which should contribute more to my income. But I also have more expenses because my child is going to child care center. How would that affect my networth? Let's have a look.

The last I wrote on my net-worth was back in 10th Dec 2018, here. I'm going to do the same below.

There are so many ways to calculate networth, but I've always done mine this way. It's essentially assets minus liabilities but how you define assets and liabilities makes all the difference. Like in the past, I excluded the asset part of my stay-in property, but included the liabilities portion. Besides the stay-in property, my liabilities also included the car that I bought in 2018, which I'm still paying off. As usual, I'm also not going to include the value of my car in the assets part, but will include the liabilities part.

The assets part include:

1. Cash in my wallet
2. All the money in my various bank accounts
3. Cash holdings under mattress and milo tins at home
4. Money in my paypal account
5. All the money in the 3 accounts in my CPF
6. Money market fund account
7. Marked to market investment portfolios
8. Surrender cash value of whole life insurance plans

Again, I do not include the value of my 5 room flat that I'm currently staying in, and also the value of the family car that I own.

The liabilities part include:

1. Credit card bills
2. My portion of the HDB mortgage loan (total remaining loan amount divided by 2)
3. My portion of the car loan I took this year (total remaining loan amount divided by 2)

Here goes:

2014: Assets: $226k, Liabilities: $220k, Networth: $6k
2015: Assets: $295k, Liabilities: $207k, Networth: $87k
2016: Assets: $351k, Liabilities: $188k, Networth: $163k
2017: Assets: $449k, Liabilities: $182k, Networth: $267k
2018: Assets: $483k, Liabilities: $191k, Networth: $291k
2019: Assets: $560k, Liabilities: $167k, Networth: $393k


Plenty of things to be grateful for this year. The networth figure increases by 102k from both an increase in asset of 77k and also a decrease in liabilities by 24k. The bullish stock market props up my assets substantially, since it is marked to market. Also, my active income contributed to me saving more than 60k this year. Slightly less contribution coming from dividends as I take money out from the stock market but that is kind of offset by higher interest bearing accounts. All in all, the asset part is a great improvement. Liabilities dropped more than usual because I started doing partial repayments of my mortgage this year to reduce the risk of interest rate rising in the near future. I've taken steps to reduce the interest rate fluctuations by locking the interest rate for 5 yrs by repricing my loan, so that is currently still in the works. I've also reduced the duration of my loan to pay more per month. Mortgage is still the major liability that I have, so it's always going to weigh heavily in my mind until I can clear the bulk of it. Takes time.

Going forward in 2020, I expect that the stock market might not do too well. Already more than 10 years of bull run, so maybe we can expect a severe downturn in the likes of the dot com era or the sub prime. Who knows such things? I also don't think my active income will be as huat as this year, since an economic crisis usually follows a stock market crash. I'm not going to say I'll tighten my wallet and live frugally from this year on. No. I will aspire to maintain my lifestyle as much as I can without compromising at all. The hallmark of great financial planning is that things should remain as normal as possible in spite of the stormy weathers. All my defense mechanism are in place, and I remain confident that I can weather the storm and survive, then hopefully thrive in the aftermath.

Same for my networth. In spite of the uncertainties, I will strive to increase my networth. So far so good, as it had been steadily increasing since 2014. Let's keep it rising for another decade or so.

This post is just the boring financial part of how the year 2019 goes for me. I'll do a separate post on reflecting on why 2019 is such a great year for me in terms of various themes, like family, health, relationships etc.



Friday, September 13, 2019

Sometimes, it's wise to be fearful when others are fearful

Recently, maybe because of the market downturn, I keep hearing people say that opportunities lie within crisis. Well, you know, the Chinese equivalent of it, weiji. It's either that, or it's Warren Buffett's be greedy when others are fearful.




Whoever taking these words of wisdom at face value is crazy. As with all other such aphorisms, the context matters. A lot. Applying these condensed advice to all context is insane. Usually I see people applying them to whatever situations they are in to justify, to rationalise and to convince.

I think if your only reason to buy a stock is because there is fear in the air or there is danger everywhere, you had better buck up. If anything, that is just a starting point to investigate, to probe, to find out. It cannot be the sole reason to buy. In trying to become a contrarian and go against the crowd, you merely react against the crowd instead of reacting with the crowd. Both are equally bad because there is no independent thought involved.

In my opinion, whenever a crisis is imminent, first survive, then thrive. In order to maximise the opportunities presented during a crisis, I must first guarantee my survival. I raise my cash level, I save hard and I make sure my standard of living of my family won't drop below a certain level. I do all these while the sun shines and the winter is not here yet. Then I wait. When 危机 (crisis) becomes 转机 (a turning point), presenting a 时机 (opportunity), I will be there in all my capacity to take advantage of this 良机 (excellent incipient moment).

Friday, August 09, 2019

National day as a parent

Normally, as a jaded adult in Singapore, you don't give two hoots about National day. I haven't been watching the parades since aeons ago, and I definitely do not wear red and white this day. Every time I hear the National day songs (except Home by Kit Chan), I cringe. I  might even escape the festivities by going for a short trip, especially this year when there is such a long weekend. Perfect for a short getaway to Bangkok or Phuket.


All that changed when my son was born. Who would have thought that I would play Mari Kita on YouTube just to watch him stand erect with hands straight down beside his body? Who would have thought that I would sing along the lyrics of our National song in order to inculcate some sense of patriotism and gratefulness for our homeland in him? Certainly not me 2.5 years ago.


But as I decked him in red and white, with his shirt showing the crescent moon and the stars, watching him wave his little hand-held Singapore flag excitedly whenever he spotted those big Singapore flags that dotted our neighbourhood, I can't help but feel a sense of belonging too. Before being a parent, I'm here but my heart is not here. I'm merely a participant but I'm not involved. After being a parent, I'm fully invested here.


It's a strange feeling. It's not the I ate the wrong thing and my stomach felt strange kind of strange. It's a warm fuzzy feeling that tingles down my spine kind of strange. I still don't wear red and white and I would rather die than be decked in those 2 colours to parade around the streets today. But I would teach my son to love his country religiously, to say the pledge, to sing the song and to be grateful for everything we have here. He might be a jaded old man in the future, aware of all the nationalistic brainwashing, cringe at all the national day songs he hears on the radio, but that can wait.


Who knows? Maybe his journey will be the same as mine, especially when he has his own kid who waves his little flags excitedly whenever he sees the bigger flags that dotted our neighbourhood.

Tuesday, June 04, 2019

The Death of Cbox

For those who didn't know, my blog has been around for a very long time. And it had always been accompanied by the cbox. Remember that this is the time before any of the social media groups are up. The best groups to talk about investing comes from CNA forum. There are no WhatsApp, telegrams or facebook messenger. But my blog always has a cbox for the regulars to chat with each other.



From the cbox, I knew many people both offline and online. Some of them went on to become bloggers themselves. I can remember a few of them: Cory, AK, SMOL, Cookie, momoeagle... among others. The cbox community grew together with my blog, and I say that it is an integral part of the bullythebear experience. Some are just students when they first came in, graduated to become accountants and doctors. Some came in to find their apple trees, and from what I've heard, grew so many apple trees that they bought many more lands to grow many more trees. I'm glad to have shared the experience and their journey together with them.


I've written some articles about the cbox. Some of them are articles to raise funds to get the premium edition of cbox so that everyone has a better experience. Here's a few of them:

1) How do you know if you are addicted to the cbox?

This is interesting because I was addicted to it. Just click refreshing to see who posted anything new, so that I can respond. Some even choose a certain model of cbox so that the handphone can access it.

2) Circular to shareholders

This article gives me a kick. I've adapted a typical circular sent to shareholders to really just ask for funding for the premium edition of cbox instead of the free one. That is essentially crowd funding. Haha, I did crowd funding before it was even popular!

Brings back fond memories reading my past articles, isn't it?


I noticed that the cbox premium membership had expired. I think it had served its purpose in forming a community of like-minded people together to form a sort of support group. But the function of the cbox had been replaced by Whatsapp group and Facebook groups, to the extent that even I am no longer visiting it. A few years ago, I shifted it down to a less prominent position to the bottom of the blog. Now, I think it's time to bury it and remove it altogether. Some of the friendship I've made are real and had been transferred online to offline. Some of my best brothers and sisters I still keep in contact with, and they sprung from the tiny cbox.



Thanks for the fond memories. Goodbye.


Thursday, May 30, 2019

Half year audit 2019

It's nearly May and that means nearly half the year is gone. Is the time spent carelessly away in frivolous and meaningless activities, or invested to form deep-seated memories or experiences to be archived, savoured and re-visited again in the warm glow of memory? Let's try to make an account of the time spent in the last 6 months.




Family:

This year, we started sending our kid to a nearby childcare centre to expose him to different experiences. That means I have to wake up early to prep him for school. And in exchange, we'll have at least half the day free to catch a breath or catch a movie if we really want to. I choose to spend the time exercising before I start work in the afternoon. More about that later. We usually fetch him back home around early afternoon before I start work. I think this regularity is good for him, even though he might cry and fuss on days he didn't feel like going to school. My wife is also having more lessons as she begins her career as a tutor, so we have lots of experiences to share, including complaining about bad students haha

My son has some problems eating the food at the child care centre, preferring to eat at home. If he is more settled there, I can give a higher rating in this area. Maybe in the next half of the year, we will do better?

Rating: 3/5

Health:

Bought my Fitbit charge 3 after Chinese new year, and had been spending the morning time exercising. Could be a 3km run, run-and-walk, walk, interval, hill training or just walking leisurely at East Coast Park with my wife for an hour or so. It was very good, and I wished that I've done it sooner. Never feel fitter in my life, and it shows when I brought my son out for walks. That's all I wanted, to be able to keep up with him without feeling wasted. In a way, he is my motivation for good health.

Recently, all of us got the dreaded HFMD (hand, foot, mouth disease). Started from my kid (but of course), spread to my wife, and finally to me. I think my wife is the one who got the brunt of the disease, with painful sores and ulcers that made her unable to speak for close to a week. Mine is much milder, thankfully, so I can take on the bulk of the caretaking. Naturally, lessons had to be cancelled, and my son stopped going to the centre for 2 weeks, which is fine because the centre had to be closed because of the outbreak anyway. Had to go back and fro the clinics to check on the condition, get certified and he is fit for school again and so on. I am very glad that the whole episode is over.

After that, I had to restart my exercising regime again because I felt my stamina being drained. It's okay. Like the stock market, we have to be on the uptrend with occasional corrections along the way, in order to move up even higher!

Rating: 4/5

Brain food:

As of now, I've read as many books as I had in the past year 2018. Where did I find the time to read? I cut my gaming sessions to zero and starting reading on my phone using Google Play books. Whenever I wanted to open up my social media app to check on the latest insignificant notification, I'll open my Google Play books instead and start reading. Just these two changes open up a whole lot of time for me to nourish my mind with books. It also helps that I discovered a new genre of books to read: Chinese science fiction (translated to English, thank you very much).

Rating: 5/5

Finances:

This year has the making of a good financial year. As of now, I've saved $29k out of my default target of $50k. Should be able to surpass the goal comfortably since the second half of the year is where I have less annual financial commitments. As long as I have good health, I can do the necessary work to bring in the income. The recent bout of illness is a sore reminder of the importance of health.

Always wanted to boost up my insurance coverage after having a kid. Boosted my life coverage by 300k, CI by 250k and early CI by 100k. Also 'forced' my wife to boost up hers too to take into account our newly minted status as parents. Feels much safer after this.

As my mortgage interest rises, I also did a partial capital repayment of $14k from my CPF-OA account. I might pare it down further to reduce my debts, but have to weigh against the opportunity cost. I'll keep it flexible and gauge it year by year on whether I should pay down my debts.

Rating: 5/5

Personal:

I did a Marie-Kondo audit on my wardrobe. Kept all my threadless t-shirts away and bought some exercise t-shirts for about $10 each. Helps that there are only 2 colours - grey and black. That hugely simplifies the choice that I have to make each day regarding what to wear. My wardrobe is just cleaned out like that. I also bought sports shoes from Decathlon. Not so long ago, I would have baulked at the purchase. Now, it's affordable, replaceable and good enough for me. It's so comfortable and added to the fact that I'm immersing myself to concentrate on health and exercising, I started wearing it everywhere I go. I like the simplification of my life and the direction that I'm going.

Rating: 5/5

Wednesday, May 08, 2019

The dance between Wants and Needs

Like so many things in my life, I started off knowing nothing. Then I learned a thing or two, and I thought I learned everything. After I had failed a thing or two, now I know that I knew nothing.

I was talking with friends on Facebook about Fitbit when I remembered that I bought it not too long ago. It is obviously a want since I could exercise without the need for such devices and it cost me more than a few packets of chicken rice. But I knew how I ticked after living with myself for so long. If I look back with hindsight, I can safely say that the purchase of such a want creates a new habit that benefited me greatly. It makes me look forward to exercising and looking at all the data generated. Can I say that such a want is really a need in disguise?

Many years ago, I wanted to learn how to play the guitar. I bought the cheapest guitar available. It's even second handed because I thought it does not make sense to buy such a good instrument if I cannot sustain my interest in it. Silly me. I did not know that interest in something new is malleable, not constant and in flux. My future interest is dependent on what I do right now. If I had bought a brand new guitar, moderately priced and not the cheapest, it might have pushed me a bit harder towards the direction that I wanted to go. I did eventually bought a better guitar and sold off my low rated first one. Did I mix up wants and needs at that time?

In the past, my definition of needs is something that is aligned to your value system, while a want is something that is not. But with many trials and tribulations in life, I think my definition of needs and wants had been changed.




A need is something that is aligned to your current value system, but a want could be something that is aligned to your future value system. A person will change. What I like 20 years ago is different from what I like now, and what I like 20 years later. A value system is also subjected to changes. Who can tell if what I value in the future is going to be the same as what I value right now? Hence a want opens the window of possibility to peek into your future value system, to explore and discover a self that is more aligned to yourself.

Did the proverbial strawberryish yolo-ish generation get it right after all? They are stereotypically said to indulge in their wants because you only live once. To be fair, all generation have members that are like that. Perhaps the pursuit of Wants is really an exploration of our Needs. Is it too much to test out and explore what our needs are? If I haven't tried avocado toast and Starbucks coffee, how do I know if I like them? If I don't travel around different countries, how do I know if another place is really my home? Needs cannot be imparted, or instructed from a parent to a child; it has to be discovered through the process of trial and error and most importantly, reflection. We should not be too quick to point the fingers at others without taking a closer look at ourselves.

Friday, April 12, 2019

The leaf on the branch

Yesterday, after sending my boy to childcare, I was brisk walking along East coast park with my wife. It was when I am enjoying the breeze and the smells of the sea when the childcare center called me that my boy had a fall and his nose is bleeding. The teacher asked if we would like to take him back home. We asked if he is still alright and if he is still bleeding, and the teacher said the bleeding had stopped and he is okay.

So, we continued walking.

I told my wife that this behavior is likely not normal at all. From the way the teacher speaks to us, apprehensively, I guess she was quite used to getting scolded by parents. She was quite apologetic and was genuinely sorry for what she interpreted as neglect, because it happened on her watch while she was distracted by other kids. Well, it could have happened to anyone, and as long as there isn't any major and permanent damage, I think it's a good lesson for everyone, including and especially my boy.

When a leaf falls, whose fault is it? The tree that let it go, the wind that blew it away, or the leaf that got tired of hanging on?




I don't think I ever mentioned that I am one of the Hyflux 6% cumulative preference shares holder. I got in at $98, while the par value is $100, thinking that it is a good deal. Well, it was, for a time being, until it wasn't. I could have cut loss when it started plunging lower but I didn't. Conversely, I could have bought more while it fell, but I also didn't do it and that's something I can be grateful about. It can always be worse. When I suspect that the saga is going to drag and there's a possibility that I could get nothing back, I immediately wrote down the value of that investment to $0. That's a write down of close to $9.2k net.

When a leaf falls, whose fault is it? The tree that let it go, the wind that blew it away, or the leaf that got tired of hanging on?

I never participated in any of the town-hall meetings nor the Hong Lim park's protest, or any of the myriad online vitriol about what could be, should be, must be. It's a have-been now, and I thought I should just suck it up and focus on making better mistakes next time.

I think I handled this whole saga pretty well, meaning I was not at all bothered. Why? I remember a decade or more ago, when s-shares are hot and fashionable, I was embroiled in a s-share company called Longcheer. I bought and bought and finally capitulated, losing about 12 to 15k? I can't remember. And that episode sank me deep to depression. Not the oh-I-am-so-angsty type. The suicidal type. Looking back, it was quite serious, but I didn't seek help and I just sort it out myself in about a month or two. Essentially, my work brought me back. That was such a educational and enlightening experience, mainly to know about myself. That was a great mistake, and I learned from it to never to average down, or to catch a falling knife. I didn't repeat it anymore, but it would be better if I had cut loss instead of holding it till kingdom come. I guess it takes one solid painful incident, instead of many insignificant ones, to remove the shitty directive inside my mind of being a 'long term investor', or that 'in the long run, things will be fine'.

If you're a Hyflux bond or pref shares holder, whether you're happy or unhappy, I doubt there's much things you can control at this point in time. What you can control is your emotional landscape, so try to make the best out of the whole situation.

Make better mistakes next time.

Thursday, April 04, 2019

Can smell be captured like a photograph?

We can take pictures to freeze a memory at a single instant in time. We use a camera for that purpose. But memories aren't just made up of lights and colours, they consist of smell and tactile sensation too. How come there isn't a device to capture the smell at any particular instance? Or the warmth of the sunlight hitting your face? Or the gentle caressing of the breeze that tussles your hair?

I guess that's why looking at pictures feels like the copy of a copy to me. It's like eating aspartame - your tastebud feels the sweetness but it is ultimately empty in calories.

There are a few things in the future that I'm looking out for:


1) A transparent metallic material

I'm in the market looking for a water bottle, but whenever my wife asks me what sort of water bottle I'm looking out for, I'll reply it must be made of metal (so that it's more durable and doesn't have chemicals leaking into the water) and transparent (so that I can know how much water is left). I'm still searching for one, so let me know if you know one lol

2) A device that can change the size of things

Whenever I'm tired of walking in the shopping centre, I told my wife to shrink me and put me into her pocket and carry me around. I guess the device can also be used to shrink a car and save everyone more land space instead of building car parks. I'll be willing to buy such a device.

3) A 'camera' take captures smell

Imagine taking a picture of the sea, and looking at the pictures will immediately trigger smells of the salty breeze. The best I can think of are those scratch-and-sniff stickers, that is said to take over the gaming world (imagine in a first-person shooter game, you walk in a sewer so you scratch a sewer sticker and sniff it for the atmospheric immersive experience) but ultimately became as extinct as a technological dodo. That'll be something to look forward to.




I'm sure in the 1800s, there'll be someone wishing for a list of things like these too. And when it happens, a lot of the old ways of doing things are disrupted. Gone like the buggy whips companies used for horse carriages. If I can imagine this wishlist, I'm sure it'll become a reality one day. Perhaps not in my lifetime but it'll be possible in somebody's lifetime.

Are there any investments now that you have that are on the cusps of extinction? The closest one that I have is perhaps Singtel. We all say that the fall in price for Singtel is due to the competition locally and worldwide...but what if it's the beginning of the fall of traditional telco business? How about banks? Will banks be obsolete in the future? Is there truly any business that you can guarantee that will stand the test of time?

I can't answer that, hence I will invest accordingly to my lack of knowledge. I will never be able to concentrate my stock holdings, and can never be able to sleep well with just 8 stocks in my pocket. This company might be so good and I'll whack 80% of my networth inside? Some people might be able to do so, but I'm quite sure I'm not one of them.

Wednesday, April 03, 2019

Personal updates

Haven't been blogging for a while, so I thought it's time to give some news about what is happening in my life in case there are still readers following me haha!


Wars are fought by two sides who thinks they are right. When we argue with someone else, we always think the other party is an idiot. I'm trying to practice not thinking the other party is an idiot. The disadvantage of doing that is that it's hard to blog on anything or give an opinion on anything, not because I don't know anything, but because I think of too many repercussions and the repercussions of the repercussions. It tends to develop into some sort of a writer's block, which is what I think I am having now. I've been blogging since 2003, and I've had such years before, so I know I'll get through them. It just takes time.




The other significant reason/excuse for not blogging is because there are higher priorities now. Since I've bought the fitbit charge 3, I've been exercising almost daily and it's been more than a month now. If I'm not doing interval training, I'll be walking. Damn, I didn't know walking feels so good. In the past, whenever there is rain, I'll be coming up with excuses not to exercise. But it's different now - I am thinking of how to continue exercising even when there is rain. It did rain this morning, so I decided I'm still going to walk, hence I carried an umbrella. I've never done something like that before. I always said that the removal of a structured test on fitness (because I've done my time in National Service) is going to be boon for my health. I am shocked by my sudden enthusiasm for exercising. Why do middle aged men wear tight pants and go cycling? Or buff themselves in the gym? Or join marathons? Is it a sudden realization that time is running out? Or the onset of mid life crisis? I've no answers.


I can't be exercising for 24 hrs right? The other time-soaker is reading. It's the beginning of April, and I've read 21 books. My yearly quota is only 30...so I'm two thirds done. I stopped checking my phone so often for the social media apps (I deleted them), so whenever I use my phone, I'll just read a little. It's amazing how those little minutes here and there add up. So, if you find that you have no time, really, just delete youtube/facebook/instagram and see how free you are.


That's it from me, till the next article.

Monday, March 04, 2019

The idiot who didn't switch

With the opening up of the electricity market, I recently signed up with another retailer. I'm not here to talk about which is more worth while, but you can comment below to ask me which one I've chosen. The fact is that I've made a choice to move out of the standard Singapore Power SP retailer, because changing to another retailer will cut my monthly bills by at least 20 to 25%. Since electricity is a commodity, I really don't care which company supplies me with it, as long as it is reliable and cheaper than my current provider.



But I've asked around. Quite a lot of people are reluctant to change, mostly the older folks. I've asked my parents to switch to another retailer too, but my mum said that SP is still the more reliable one. When I told her that she can save 25% off her monthly electrical bills, she said paying more is okay because it's higher quality. Wah...okay, then I realised that the reason not to switch is based on something other than rational thought. A.k.a status quo bias.

I guess a big reason why people are reluctant to switch is because there is a lot of information to digest. And it's true. You have to read up, do comparison, which is difficult for people. There are better ways to spend your free time than to pore over boring fact sheets of at least a dozen different electricity providers and their various plans. Too much work.

While I'm pointing fingers at these people for not switching to something cheaper, am I also guilty of doing it on other aspects of my life? Are there some aspects of my life that I am procrastinating, because it is perceived to be too much work even though I know I'll be ultimately better off? I'm sure there are, even if I had sub-consciously buried it in the deep recesses of my mind.

If you're financially savvy, did you neglect your health? If you're health conscious, did you forget about growing your wealth? If you're good at investing in stocks and shares, are you dismissing properties? If you're good at investing in properties, are you missing out the potential in the stock market? If you're strong in savings, are you equally strong in growing your income? If you're good at earning money, did you play defensive well by cutting your expenses?

Too much work to do? You're comfortable where you are right now? Status quo bias?

Realization: Just because I've switched to a cheaper electricity retailer, I'm no better than the people who choose to stay with the incumbent. All of us have some better part of our lives that we can improve and better ourselves, if only we can look past the tough work to get there.


Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Buying two insurance policies

After having a kid, I thought it was due time for me to update my insurance protection. I summed up all my policies and realised that I have a huge shortfall for death, tpd, as well as critical illness. As it is now, I applied for the Mindef Aviva plan to cover this shortfall and am still waiting for them to get back to me. This should add another $700 to $800 per year to cover me until age 65, which I gauge it to be adequate. I'll do a separate post on it when the insurance plan is confirmed. Might be months later, since I likely have to do a health check and all the other documentation.


So that's the easy part. Just spend the money, pay the premiums and lo and behold, you're covered for xxx thousands here and there.

The harder part is this other 'insurance policy' I just started - exercising. I haven't been actively exercising since the birth of my child two years ago. I want to take care of my grandchild many years later, hence it's important for me to maintain good health. I know what motivates me, and that's having a to-do list unfulfilled and waiting for me to do them. Hence, I went straight to get a Fitbit charge 3, which is a fitness tracker that comes accompanied with a great app for use in my mobile phone/desktop. With the app, it allows me to track all sorts of things, like how much water you drink, how much calories you take, how much exercise you do per week and how many hours you sleep. Fantastic. My tracker will vibrate every hour reminding me to move my ass if I didn't hit 250 steps. Yup, every hour it will remind my sorry ass to move, until 6pm.

I started jogging today too after having a break of more than 3 years. Imagine the pain burning through my legs now. I always thought that the IPPT, which is the required annual physical fitness test for all combat fit guys here in Singapore (at least until 40 or when you are in the Mindef reserve), is damaging to my health. I want to run and do all the exercise item, but not to the extent that I had to 'kill' myself to pass. I'm glad all these official tests are over for me so that I can focus on the fitness that I really want. Fitness to me is just this: able to run after my active son without feeling tired and able to live long healthily.

Maybe I will join a gym or something, but we'll see. For now, I want to be sufficiently cardiovascular fit but I think about the gym. Hey, taking care of your health is the best investment you can do for yourself!

Looks like a great start to the year 2019, in terms of coverage lol

Saturday, January 12, 2019

POEMS MMF rate increasing?

I've always been putting my warchest in POEM money market fund (MMF). Recently, I noticed that the unit price of the MFF had been increasing at an accelerated rate. Fortunately, I had some data that I always recorded when I'm doing my monthly accounts, so I had access to the unit price changes of the MMF every month (most of the time anyway). I needed to know roughly how much interest it will generate so that I can properly allocate to the various instruments for my cash.

So far, I've been putting it in these few places:

1) MMF
2) Normal savings bank account (not the hurdled type)
3) Singapore savings bond (SSB)

This is my allocation to my warchest. It doesn't include emergency funds:

1) MMF - 30%
2) Bank accounts - 35%
3) SSB - 35%

I keep some liquid cash in normal bank accounts for day to day use and the bulk of the money under the bank accounts is parked in the CIMB fastsaver account. The good thing about that account is that for the first 50k, there will be a 1% interest pa (thereafter is 0.60% pa), fuss-free. There's no hurdles to jump and no credit card spending to clock. I know many people have the hurdled savings accounts with much higher interest, like about 1.8% pa, if they satisfied certain criteria like credit card spending and salary. Since I'm self employed, I don't qualify for the salary part, hence it's such a hassle to jump over all the hoops to reach that the high interest, only to see it fall away when the hoops are raised even higher.

Savings bond (SSB) is always a good place to store cash because recent issues has been giving 2% for 1 to 3 yrs, but it is slightly less liquid. MMF takes about 2 working days to cash out, while the cash in banks is immediate. SSB takes a maximum of 1 month, but if you actually apply to cash out towards the end of the month, you really just need 1 week to get the cash out. Hence, it's also a timing issue.

What about MMF? Below is the raw data for the tracking of the MMF unit price:


The compounded interest rate for the years are shown below:

2016: 0.868 % pa
2017: 0.818 % pa
2018: 1.117 % pa

You can see that the interest rate is creeping up for poems MMF recently. This is of course far from its heyday about 10 yrs ago:

2007: 2.01% pa
2008: 1.33% pa
2009: 1.04% pa

As you probably already know, the interest rates had been creeping up from the start of 2018 till now. It's still increasing, but at a slower pace now compared to the start of 2018. Hence, in order to forecast how the MMF's rates is going to be like going forward in 2019, we should look at the latest quarterly rise in the unit price in 2018 to get a gauge. It's 1.231 % pa so I think we can expect the MMF's rate to be around this in 2019. In fact, I expect it to be more than 1.2%.

That means it's better than the interest given by the CIMB fast saver account. Well, slightly better with some caveat. There is FDIC deposit insurance for cash parked in banks. For mmf, I don't think there's any. But it's been a pretty safe MMF with nary a drop in unit price since I've been tracking it in 2006. I think the more important thing is about the cap for the 1% interest rate in CIMB. That's only for first 50k, whereas for MMF, there is no cap whatsoever.

I need to rejig my current set up. With a kid in tow, I need more emergency cash. And I will need to park them in a place I can't touch easily. The best place right now is SSB. I will also be parking more money into poems MMF since it has higher interest than my bank accounts, doesn't have a cap and makes it easy for me to buy equities (MMF account is linked to shares account). Yet, I also can't keep pumping money into MMF, because what if the MMF goes kaput? There's no insurance for me. So maybe a self imposed cap of 50k in MMF is what I'll do, coupled with a cap of 50k for cimb fast saver account and another self imposed cap of 50k in SSB. Fill up MMF first, then fill up fastsaver, then fill up SSB, in that order.

That totals...150k. I don't even have that much cash right now, but at least this exercise makes me think of the hard and soft limit that will be staying with me for the next 3 to 5 yrs I guess.


Wednesday, January 02, 2019

First day in childcare

Today I sent my boy to the childcare centre. He's about a month shy of 2 yrs, so it's his first experience going to a proper school environment, hence his crying is all expected. But I left the childcare centre, being all warm inside and proud. Why?




I think it's important to establish a very strong emotional link between the child and the parent. With this strong emotional link, you can motivate the kid to limits beyond the wildest expectations from the parents. There are times when we brought my son out for walks and after an hour or so, he starts to get tired. We don't ever have a pram, because my thinking is that we (as parents) either grow stronger by carrying him, or my son will grow stronger by continuing to walk until the destination is reached. So when he is really tired, he will want us to carry him, right? That's normal. But what we will do is to tease him a bit. When he runs towards us, we'll run further away and he'll laugh and continue running after us for a little bit more. We can drag this 'game' for another 30 mins or so, pushing him beyond his own perceived limits. And he'll do so because he trust us completely.

In essence, we're using this strong emotional link between the child and the parent to do great things together. This is what the book by Dr. Petunia Lee, Internal drive theory, had mentioned. I quote these from the book (I might have paraphrased it when I took down notes from the book),


"A child might give up in the face of difficulties, but if he can draw upon someone else’s emotional energy, they can still stay on the course. Hence it is a strong motivating force."

"This is so important that if emotional connection is not there, the first thing to do is to fix it up. That will make all the other motivation strategies more powerful."


Aha! Now I finally join the dots and link the connections. Initially when I first read the book, I was just knowing. Now I really understand. It is the same motivating force when my tutee likes me, and do not want to disappoint me, hence with the strong emotional bond between us, I as a tutor can push the tutee beyond his/her own perceived limits. And that's how a real change can be observed.

So, what happened at the childcare centre that had me beaming with pride? My wife stayed on with him, while I left the room. Only one parent is allowed and we decided to have my wife accompany him, at least for a while, to calm him down. Initially my son was inconsolable. After a while, he started being his jovial playful self again. When my wife gave a firm goodbye, he was still smiling, and I knew it's going to be alright.

Seriously, I've never had a prouder moment as a parent. It's a great start to the year 2019!