Storify your facts

My wife and I like to embellish facts with stories.


There's a very recent example of how we do it. There's a blue dustbin that we had in our void deck, that is used to collect bigger pieces of junk for recycling. One day when returning home, wife exclaimed that the dustbin is no longer there. Instead, on the floor where it used to stand were pieces of rubbish that the dustbin is meant to collect.


She told me about it and I told her that the dustbin had worked there for years and had finally saved enough to retire and lead a financially free life. It's a good thing and we should all be happy for the blue dustbin. That was it then and it wasn't until a few days later, that we saw the same blue dustbin on the porch where people usually drop off or pick up passengers because there's a rain shelter there. What an odd spot to see blue dustbin there! I explained that it's because blue dustbin is waiting for the bus to take him back to home. We waved goodbye to him and wished him a good journey. Wife even told him not to take the wrong bus and have himself sent to Semakau, Singapore's (in)famous rubbish island.

I thought that was the end of blue dustbin and we'll never see him again. The rubbish piled up at the usual 'workplace' for blue dustbin and we lamented that a good 'worker' had left the scene. But a few days later, we saw the same dustbin at the same usual workplace. So what happened?


He had missed the bus, what a poor thing, I said. Spent his money on gambling upon his retirement, said my wife. Got cheated of his money on the way back, I suggested. Either way, good old blue dustbin is back at work at his usual workplace but with double or triple the load. My wife threw in a good moral to the story: Be really certain you can reach financial freedom before you leave, otherwise you come back and work your ass off!



Another one?


There's this story of a snail going to the market to buy some groceries after a particularly rainy day. On the way there while crossing a pavement, it suddenly felt a strong pull upwards. Oh no! It must be suffering from heart attack and died or something. This must be the tunnel vision that one experiences when one is out of body! Instinctively it shrank into its shell and waited for the moment to pass and speak to its creator. It waited quite a while but no godly voice boomed to speak to it. Timidly, it popped out its head and lo and behold, it appeared on the other side of the pavement!


What manner of sorcery is this?! It normally take him 5 minutes to walk across if it sprinted there, but this took no longer than 30 s! Still shaken, it went to do the chores required and went home, feeling both grateful and lucky that it's still alive. Later that evening, the snail's news reported of yet another mysterious 'alien' abduction. Statistics show that it's more likely to be abducted by aliens after a rainy day, so it warned all snails around the vicinity to exercise extreme caution and prudence when crossing the mystical 'Pavement 51'.


Life is just that little bit more magical when you do that, isn't it?