Thursday, November 14, 2013

My plan for my wife when I pass away

While having lunch in a subway outlet, me and my wife started talking about something morbid. It's about our plans for each other when we pass away prematurely, like within the next few years. It wasn't a morbid topic for me though. I thought that we should talk about such issues so that we have a feel for each other's plan. In the eventuality that we pass away, we can do so in peace with the knowledge that the other party is well taken care off. That's the important part - to leave peacefully and to know that whoever we leave behind is well taken care off, at least financially.

When I pass away,

1. All the outstanding mortgage payments to HDB will be paid up for. That's like $450k we're talking about.

2. The death benefits from my insurance depends on how I pass away. If it's before 2023, it'll be $275k in total. If it's accidental death and I'm younger than 64 yrs old, it'll be $350k. If none of the above, it'll be $250k. Since we're talking about dying in the immediate future, let's just treat it as $275k.

I think my wife will have no problem taking care of the car loan which is about 10k. I haven't even included my bank accounts, stock portfolio and CPF money to the whole equation, but I'm pretty sure my parents and wife is well taken care financially. That's very good. But money isn't always the only problem that needs to be taken care of. Actually emotional and mental health is just as important.

With that in mind, I even thought out a plan for her:

1. With all the money left, she should just let it sit in the bank for a while and not touch it for at least 6 months to a year. This is the cooling off period to make sure that she don't use the money emotionally.

2. The 5 room HDB that we're currently staying is too big for her needs. She should not sell it but rent it out at maybe 2 to 3k if it's after 5 years of minimum occupation period. If it's before 5 years, ask her parents to stay over at my home and rent out her parent's home. This will free up cash to take care of her parents and also to generate positive cash flow for her own retirement.

3. Look for investment opportunities in the stock market or property investing. This will require the help and advice of my good bullythebear friends, whom she also keeps in constant contact. I'm sure she'll have the best advice from them. Get a small property if necessary, pay off enough as down payment to make sure that the rental from the HDB can cover a big percentage of the mortgage of the new property. This will ensure that in the event that the property market is not good after the purchase, she'll have enough to pay off the mortgage monthly without breaking a sweat.

4. Ask her immediate supervisor for a pay raise. If they refuse, just leave them and concentrate on those work that is satisfying for her. She probably don't have to work so hard for money anymore, so she should find something she likes to do to earn some income. Maybe like just work for 2 or 3 days in a week. No stress.

5. Use the time freed up to take care of her health by going to exercise more often, eat more healthily and bring herself and her parents/my parents overseas to enjoy life.

6. Find herself a good husband if she can, to take care of her.

Good plan? With all these 'morbid' thoughts in mind, I think I'll treasure my time here with her more.


AK71 said...

I don't like this blog post! :(


Choy, choy, choy!

la papillion said...

Hi AK,

Haha, don't have to treat death as a taboo :)

Singapore Man of Leisure said...


By being aware of own mortality, we will treasure each day even more!

Psst, not just focus on her financial needs (you think she married you for money?); there's emotional and spiritual needs too.

But then, women are much stronger than men emotionally ;)

la papillion said...


Yup, already focused on her emotional and spiritual needs. Maybe come back once a while to visit LOL

Anonymous said...

i say well done LP.
Death is inevitable for all of us.
To prepare for it is really so much better than not prepare.
Imagine when death happens your love one is already in deep grief and most probably in his/her weakest moment. If at this time needs to worry about financial matters, then it's really double "whammy".
It's really double depressing.


That's one of the reason i never stop trying to educate my wife on financial matters. Which she is barely interested. But everything is in both our names or either one of us will be the beneficiary if anything happens to one of us.
But LP, touch wood for all of us

Derek said...

Hi LP,

It's thoughtful of you to prepare for the worse but let's make this a one off thought ya. Life is short, enjoy and treasure each moment to the fullest.


la papillion said...

Hi temperament,

I guess women are not so concerned about financial matters. Got to make them a bit more interested, if not have to plan everything swee swee for them. I think that's the responsibility and duty of every husband. If have kids, then the women will have to take care of both the emotional and financial matters concerning the household - not simple at all.

Yes, touch wood for all of us :)

la papillion said...

Hi Derek,

Ya, nobody goes through life thinking purely about death haha :) Plan ahead and live life fully without worries!

B said...


We'll take this as an insurance or a will so as to speak.

If your wife is financially knowledge savy and you don't have any children right now, I think the situation is much simpler and your wife should have no problem handling it. But when you have grown up kids coming your way, the agreement might change.

But I don't think its going to come anywhere in the near future. Touch wood Touch wood.

My 15HWW said...

Hi LP,

Interesting post and I do think it's good to occasionally contemplate about our own mortality. As what SMOL said, it would make us cherish things more, especially your wife.

And after writing the post and realising that you are healthy, well-alive and kicking, it should bring a smile on your face, right? These morbid thoughts ironically can make us more grateful and thus happier.

The cool-down period is a really useful suggestion that I haven't thought off. When one is bogged down by anguish, decisions might not be rational. And really magnanimous of you regarding the last point. Hats off and lastly... touch wood.

la papillion said...

Hi B,

Yes, it's something like a will, but unlike a will that only talks about the mechanics of who gets what and when, a plan will detail some of the things that are not in the will. It's an optional plan thought by a party to his/her spouse, so to speak.

It'll be really sad if my kids should agree with how my wife handles the finance, seeing how I'm with my wife longer than I'm with my kids, haha

la papillion said...

Hi 15 HWW,

Yes, that's the pt...once you've covered all the most morbid grounds, the only way to go is up :)

The cool down period is important for anyone who suddenly gets a huge amount of money. It can be in the form of a inheritance, a big Toto big or a huge bonus. Cool down and once you got used to the fact that you've got so much money now, then go and think about what to do with it.

Regarding last point, you wouldn't? If I'm gone and she's still young, why not? I only wish the best happiness for her :)

Anonymous said...

Yes, find a good husband for her first, before u are gone. Ask your best friend if they are interested?
That is a good husband.

Anonymous said...

"i give her all my love
That's what i do
And if you saw my love
You love her too
As i love her" - The Beatles

Very very few human beings can do it. We are after all merely mortal. But will you give your life for your love ones when necessary? Have to check myself too.

la papillion said...

Hi anonymous,

Did I hurt you before? So why do you say such hurtful words?

la papillion said...

Hi temperament,

That's a tough question to answer. I guess when the time comes, we will react accordingly to instincts and not so much thinking already.

It's loving others vs loving ourselves...hard choice.

Anonymous said...

Hi LP,
So what's is love for another person?
Thinking or instinct? Or Instinct over rule thinking?
Or a little bit of both. Or what?

i always believe when you first fall in love with someone by thinking (aka calculate) more then feel (instinct) then maybe you have not fall in love in the first place.
No real exchange of the chemistry - mystery love portion number 9.
Anyway, i believe everything we have and how much we have is a gift. Example how much or to what extent i enjoy music is a gift.
And how much you feel for your wife is also a gift. You can not pretend you love her more than you can. She will know it in no time.
Ha! Ha!

la papillion said...

Hi temperament,

Well said well said. Women are better at feeling than guys..I'm not sure I believe in the love at first sight kind of think. For me, it's a mix of both mind and heart. I guess I don't trust my feelings that much LOL

Anonymous said...

Not necessary love at first sight.
The time or the moment you feel or think the other party is "perfect".
And you can not get her off your mind.
And you may not even think about marriage then.
This maybe what you call "Infactuation"
And if after this stage of "Infactuation" cools down, and the couple still think both can live as one with all their +s and -s then viola marriage lol.
i wonder how many people can bypass this stage and jump straight into falling in LOVE? No chemistry how to fall in love?

And no mate is perfect.
But do keep a little, just a tiny wee bit of 'Infactuation" alive in your heart will do miracle for your marriage.
i still think my wife is beautiful compare to any woman her age. And most woman will ask her man from time to time," How do i look? And if you give a phony answer, she will know. Peace be with you then.

la papillion said...

Hi temperament,

Your wife must be very lucky to have you as a husband ;) Wishes both of you many years of happiness together :)

Anonymous said...

Not really. Remember no mate is perfect. i have many -s too.
Wish you and your wife many happy years together too.

Money Honey said...

Selflessness; you are one truly a rare gem.

la papillion said...

Hi money honey,

I'm gone already, what's the point of holding on? Haha, you'll do the same I'm sure.

Anonymous said...

hi, la papillion
i like your blog very much.
can you let me know what is the font used for the comments section? (it is different font from the main blog section). I find this font nice, straight and peaceful.
thank you.
chew the grok

la papillion said...

Hi Chew,

Thanks! I cut and pasted the comments on MS word, and checked that the font on the comments section is "Century Gothic" at font size 10.

Hope it helps :)

Anonymous said...

thank you la papillion for replying to my un-important request. really appreciate it.
i was trying to compare, but just realised you have changed your theme. Can i ask whether after the theme change, is the comments section font still Century Gothic, because the "a" looks different from Century Gothic "a".

Can I also ask if you took inspiration from a french film i vaguely recalled watching years ago, it was about freedom and life imprisonment. Memory is fading, but i remember it was quite 震撼 to me back then.
Sorry to ask you such off-beat questions, if you find it strange, don't bother to reply me also can.
chew the grok

la papillion said...

Hi Chew,

Yup, I've changed a new theme and the comments sections now have a font, Arial, size 10.

I wish I can change back to the older century gothic - I like it too! - but I'm not that good at html coding.

Inspiration for this post? Well, there's a lot of inspiration but nothing in particular stands out. I've not watched that film but I did watch something similar - called Se Souvenir des Belles Choses. It's about watching your loved ones lose their memory. It's a bit different but it's the same theme of loss.

Don't worry about your questions - keep them coming!

Anonymous said...

hi la papillion

Arial is nice too. Thank you for the name of the nice font.

I was referring to an english prison film with name of papillon (thought maybe that inspired your choice of papillion :)

when i read this post, i was quite moved and the thought "if you love her, set her free" came up.

chew the grok

la papillion said...

Hi Chew,

Oh...I've not watched that movie before, but I did watched one called Le Papillon (2003), which is indeed the inspiration behind my nickname, haha!