Friday, December 31, 2010

Don't take things for granted

** "BIAS" is a special feature in my blog where I get to say whatever I want with scant regards for your feelings. I'm not politically correct in this feature, so go ahead, judge me."

A dear friend of mine just broke up with her long time girlfriend. When I asked him about his feelings regarding this unexpected event, he just advised me not to take things for granted in a relationship. I didn't probe him further but I promised to probe myself further on this subject matter. I think what he mentioned is true for any sort of relationship. Afterall, any relationship is ultimately built on a intricate reward system. The reward can come in terms of anything, be it financial, emotional, moral etc. If a person puts in the effort and over a long period of time, the reward still does not match up to his expectation of the effort he puts in, then he'll feel unsatisfied and taken for granted.

In order not to take people for granted, you have to be grateful for what they are, not what they can become. I'll come up with some points on what I'm grateful about my wife.

Not in any order of importance, I'm grateful for her:

1. Insane laughter - she'll laugh at the most silliest thing when she's in the mood for it

2. Kindness toward animals - she's the one who introduced me to saving snails on a rainy day to prevent pedestrians from crushing them alive. And cats..oh cats..

3. Effervescence - when she's in the mood for it, she can be quite infectious in her cheery, over-the-top attitude. I'm the complete opposite, usually emotionless. We're an odd pair, but I loved it. I'm getting a bit more like her and she more like me. Diffusion?

4. Playfulness - I'll sit down reading and she'll pop over and pluck off my glasses. Or I'll be eating my food and she'll put some on my nose. Or I'll be watching a show and she'll smudge my glasses with her fingerprints. So many more....

5. Compassion / empathy - she'll be the one who buys tissue from senior citizens doing their rounds in hawker centre because they are so pitiful. She'll be the one who would donate notes to students who are doing flag raising. She'll buy little trinkets from SPCA to raise funds for their activities.

Okay, whenever I'm upset about something, I'll think along these lines. It should make me feel better. It's important to treasure what you have now and count your blessings :)

Have a merry new year!


Musicwhiz said...

Nice post LP! Makes me think of what I appreciate about my wife too!

And it's not just diffusion, maybe reverse osmosis? (Sorry ah, that's what happens when I read too much on wastewater treatment!) :P

Happy New Year!

Singapore Man of Leisure said...

Yes, let's not forget to invest in relationships.

What's the point of all the millions if we have no one meaningful to share it with?

Kyith said...

great note there.

Anonymous said...

Wow! very loving.
They say opposite attract-like a north pole to south pole magnets.
But there must be something in common.
Especially after some years together, you will tend to look alike and think alike. You will be even able to practise "telepathy."
Ha! Ha!
Don't believe me?
Wait a bit, staying longer together then you will believe me.
There is really something they call "Soulmate".

la papillion said...

Hi mw,

Thanks :) Haha, I specialise in wastewater treatment ;)

Have a merry new year!

Hi SMOL,'ll be quite lonely and pointless if there's nobody to share it with. My wife always tell me she's there to help me spend off the money so that I would feel happier, haha!

Hi Drizzt,


Hi temperament,

Oh, we have in total 10 yrs of 'experience'. I do know what you mean by telepathy :) As a tutor, I prefer 'chemistry', haha!

Anonymous said...

Hi LP,
I really mean "telepathy".
You see we rarely cook at home.
So we eat "everywhere" all over Singapore, daily.
Many times, when I think of eating certain food at certain place and when I ask her, she will tell me she just think of the same.
Sometimes it's the other way round.
But usually she "reads" my mind more than I read hers.
It's a kind of scary?
So better be careful what you think in the presence of your wife.
I believe women are more intuitive than men.
Be careful!
Ha! Ha!

la papillion said...

Hi Temperament,

OH! Ok ok, we had moments like this too :) Will heed your 'advice' as I believe the fairer sex are really more intuitive :)

Act blur live longer? haha