Friday, September 16, 2016

It's 3 am I must be lonely

Restitutive, Retributive and Reformative.

These 3 words keep rolling around in my mind as I woke up in the middle of the night to think about this. It must be around 3am, because that's the time my aircon timer is set and I usually wake up due to the difference in temperature. I must have read it somewhere, but I'm not sure why this suddenly cropped up.

Restitution means to restore or repair something to its original state. Retributive effectively means an eye for an eye. Reformative means to correct or adjust for re-integration into society.

Your kid hits another kid in the playground. As a parent, what do you do?

Restitutively, you should pay a small sum of money to the other parent to restore the 'state' of the kid to its original one. Retributively, you should let the other kid hit your kid back. An eye for an eye. Reformatively, you should get your kid to apologise first (no violence no matter who is wronged), find out why they are fighting, and seek to correct the behaviour of using violence to vent out one's frustration or anger and instead seek other avenues to address the wrong.

As you can see, it's hardest to reform and easiest to seek retribution. There's always 3 ways to approach matters, and it's a good reminder to me as well. The right tool for the right situation.


Sillyinvestor said...

Got a fourth R,

Redundant and relax ...

Means no chap and walk off... Worse of the worst. Mama is not my fault

la papillion said...

Hi SI,

Wahaha! That means the wrong is not addressed, but deferred until further hearing haha!

Anonymous said...

dude, temperature too high? hehe I just moved countries...

we are global citizens but it will not be true without concrete action.

Rolf Suey said...

Hi LP,
Reform is the correct answer. And I wanted to add that you miss out the part of the parents.

The answer is simple, but it becomes complicated in today’s world.

Kids resort in violent is wrong no matter what. And as parent, they are also wrong. In order for them not to repeat the same problem, they should acknowledge that hitting is wrong, and say sorry to the person he hit truthfully. This must be done regardless if it is done before and after finding out the root cause of the problem.

Then the party being hit, must by all means forgive the one who hit him. Otherwise, either parties are bound to suffer and it is not a clean ending. If there is no forgiveness, it will not work also.

Bear in mind that the parents themselves are often the cause of the problems. Therefore the parents must also apologise and forgive accordingly.

The root of the problems or compensation are then secondary because as long as the above is done, the conscience is overcome by the spirit of goodness, and the action of the body will then do the right thing accordingly.