Monday, September 12, 2016
Someone mentioned his success story. You immediately start to think of what are the circumstances that makes him different from you. Maybe he comes from a rich background. Maybe he don't have NS so he starts working earlier by 2 years. Maybe his parents help him pay the downpayment of his property and his car. Maybe he is single so he don't have to pay as much as a married couple with child. I'm sure you have thought of this, and so do I.
The issue about such thinking is that you start to form a hundred and one reason why you cannot emulate the success story. You start thinking that he is different from you and since you don't have the advantages that he had, you cannot have the success that he is having too. I find such thinking highly toxic and even as I'm still struggling to get over such jealous thinking, sometimes it'll start to creep onto you insidiously.
I think it's part and parcel of being a human. We have our ego and a damaged ego is very hard to swallow. But it's important to turn such discomfort into a strength and motivation to succeed. You already have a role model who had been there and done that, so your learning curve is going to be reduced. If anything, you have a stronger chance of reaching the same success level in a much shorter time. I believe, self delusional or otherwise, that the purpose of sharing success story is more motivational than boasting. We just need to keep an open mind to learn and not close it off and say he is different from me, and I don't have this or that, hence I can't do it. It's important to accept the discomfort arising from the discrepancies and start closing the gap right now.
It seems like my whole life is trying to prove others are wrong:
1. When I'm in JC, there's this teacher who keeps telling me I should drop Further maths. I didn't and I succeeded in getting an A.
2. When I'm in university, my friends and family told me I can't get 1st class. I didn't believe it and I took extra modules to chalk up the score necessary to get it.
3. When I'm working, friends and family told me I can't work as a self employed private tutor. I won't be able to survive. But I did and I continue to do so.
4. When I'm saving 50k a yr after I woke up from my 'financial slumber', there are folks who told me when I get married and start having to pay for my own property, I won't be able to make it. Well, I'm married and I save even more now.
Iron-teeth. I get highly motivated to reach my goals in order to prove a point. That's who I am. The quality of my motivation changes from being the angry, vengeful, the in-your-face kind of motivation when I'm younger, to a quiet strength where action speaks louder than words when I'm older. Both are pillars of strength when trying to traverse through the obstacles and road blocks in my path, but the second one is one that springs from self confidence. Not angry anymore, just self assured. I think age tends to do that to you.
You no longer have to prove your 'worth' to anybody.